American dream’ turned sour
For all of you who want to leave Nepal, think before you make the move!

By Bhumika Ghimire

Like thousands of students in Kathmandu, America was my escape from all the tough realities of life in Nepal-- pollution, social pressure, political turmoil and lack of opportunities. I never thought that living in a country where I don’t know anyone and where money stands over human relationships and emotions would be a bad idea. America had the charm and the appeal that never faded, no matter how many doubts I had they all seemed trivial in front of the tremendous opportunity America presented.

It has been two years since I arrived in the USA and all that American charm and glory seems far from the reality. I laugh at myself sometimes for believing that I had a reasonable chance to succeed here. I came with no money, no contacts, with just dreams and hope. I had a dream of becoming an IT consultant, earning decent amount of money so that I could bring my family here and yes, travel around the world. The dream is still alive but is far from being a reality.

For a year, I struggled to get my degree, working odd jobs, one of which was at an Indian restaurant. From 9:00 a. m. to 4:00 p. m. I used to attend college then from 5:00 p. m. to 10:00 p. m. I used to work. I don’t want to make it simple by saying that all this was hard. It was way beyond that, every day I used to remember my carefree days in Kathmandu. I had my parents taking care of everything. All I had to do was being nice and study hard.

Still I used to give them so much trouble, never listened to what they said. It was hard remembering those days during the long working hours, listening to all the remarks people at work made about my accent and my looks. Sometimes I used to question myself, why did I come here? To listen to all these remarks? I left my home, family, decent job and came here to work as a Server in a restaurant..? I used to comfort myself by saying that even if times now are tough, after I get my degree I will surely get a great job and things would be great.

I am laughing again at myself, because nearly a year after graduating top of my class, I am still struggling in between the odd jobs. The dream job I wished for is nowhere in sight, but my credit card bills are surely becoming mountain high. Now-a-days I have just stopped thinking about all the dreams I had when I came here, I just focus on getting by each day at a time. It seems much easier that way. Still you cannot run away from the reality or hide the facts. I consider myself as a failure, I do regret coming to America and not being able to accomplish anything.

But then now slowly I am learning to live with my failures. I volunteer at a local organization, work with people less fortunate than me and try to find a purpose among all the things that went wrong in my life. I am learning to believe this is a phase and it will pass.

For all of you who want to leave Nepal, think before you make the move. Grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence.

(A graduate of Schiller University, Florida, Ghimire is currently based in the US and writes on contemporary issues. Please send your comments to bhumika_g@yahoo.com)

Bhumika and the others that are planning to come to the U.S:

I know that the perception of life in America for much of Nepal is a horribly distorted vision- everyone thinks that life is super easy and that the streets are paved with gold.

This certainly is the land of opportunity provided you come with realistic expectations. If you expect to maintain the same lifestyle that you were used to in Nepal then, you are setting yourself up for a lot of heartache and misery.

This country does not believe in giving you a bed of roses--you are expected to be independent and earn your own living..it's not extraordinary to expect a 21 year old to work and go to school--it may be hard striking a balance between school, work and the importance of having a social circle that you can rely on to help you maintain the balance but it can be done...it may be hard meeting people and getting to know them, but, the huge benefit in that is that it forces you to move away from the security blanket of making friends with people who look like you and sound like you--broaden the circle of people you socialise with--there are a lot of lessons to be learnt and to teach those from a culture that is very different from that in Nepal in which most of us were raised.

Don't loose heart easily--like others said, nobody promised you a life of dreams...you need to believe that your dreams will come true, if you are willing to stick it out through the pain and misery of the early years...I wish all you young students already here or headed here, nothing but the best...have faith--it goes a long way :-)

HushP, Laura was just posting "Bhumika girl's" piece.
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Let me sum up my personal experience in a phrase:
It certainly has not been easy, but I would not have it any other way.


The only thing that bothers me is many of my loved ones are getting old, and yes it scares me a lot.

Still struggling very hard (by my own personal interpretation)
IndisGuise.

The road certainly has been a tough one but the expereince has been priceless. :-)) I

Bhumika Ghimire, you are a pathetic looser ! There is no place for a looser like you in USA. Go back to Nepal.

hmmm were you really living in stone age when you had that so called "American Dream"? IF you talk about struggle, who isn't struggling? In which part of the world you live and dont have to struggle? For a better life, better health, better job, better than what you have now and the list goes on and on. I would say you just need to grow up! How stupid were you when you were in Nepal? Did you believe that you can come to a materialistic society like US and not pay for school, get a job that pays you thousands (oh mind you without going to interviews I bet)? Ughhhh yeah hullowwww....

At least you graduated..
there are hundereds of Nepalese who left studying and working at some gas station to make money... and ppl in Nepal think.. their son's / daughters are doing great.. making money and sending it back to Nepal..
at least u have a degree that others done..
be happy..
American economy is booming..unlike nepal..
so try.. i am sure u will land up in a good Co.

" It has been two years since I arrived in the USA and all that American charm and glory seems far from the reality.

For a year, I struggled to get my degree, working odd jobs, one of which was at an Indian restaurant.

I am laughing again at myself, because nearly a year after graduating top of my class, I am still struggling in between the odd jobs."

OK Bhumika,
How the hell could you get a degree in ONE year? What college is that and what major? Nepali students take 4 to 6+ years to complete undergrad. Even Masters takes 2+ years. Is this story all made up??

she has not laid down the "bhumika" properly....

dyam SweetP, you're smart..

Nas, you said what i wanted to say : anyways, a bump with the same message.
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Bhumika Ghimire, you are a pathetic looser ! There is no place for a looser like you in USA. Go back to Nepal.

ok ok heard it all. for all of u who say i am a loser and i should go back to nepal, or that i made up my story..i heard it all and yes thank u very much for all the comments.

the reason i wrote that piece was to come of my closet, MY closet which I had built.i was afraid to accept that what i had thought in nepal did not happen in america.so whatever i said about america is entirely MY personal experience.i am not looking to sacre people from coming to america nor am i looking to brand america as land of bad dreams.

also for all of u who say that i am a loser and i should back home, all i want to say is that instead of living with the myth that everyone in america is a success, i have dared to come out and accept my failures.

and last but not the least, i finished my masters in one year coz i did credit transfer..not a made up story dude.

bhumika ghimire

This thread has to be the lamest one I have ever come across(as are most of Laura's threads). I agree with Michael Moore when he asserts that the so-called American Dream is just a myth. Everybody loves "rags to riches" story, but for most people life is a struggle.

I never doubted the authencity of your piece in the first place Bhumika. Alright, I faltered a little bit, but hey, you know... :)

However, I do not understand how you see yourself as a failure. You achived one end of your dreams by earnign your masters', (Credit transfer in Masters' are extremly rare though, IMO) and you have just arrived. Two years in America and already have a masters' degree, I see success written all over. Buckle up pal, the fun is about to begin.

It ain't over till it's over. Ki kaso? :)

Indisguise:)

Hello Bhumika,

I do not think you are a failure nor do I think you should return to Nepal. However, I do think you should be optimistic and look forward to your life ahead. Think about it, you are a graduate from American University, despite the fact that road ahead may not be paved with gold but opportunities are endless for you. Let me tell you my experience, it is not what you know it is who you know that lands you a well-paid job. Where to begin, start networking with successful people. You can find them at the charitable organizations like, rotary club, united way, humanitarian organization etc.
Do not underestimate yourself, if you are willing to accept lesser salaries, it shows lack of confidence. You have further questions ask me. I will reply in next thread

I feel sorry for you Bhumika.
Well, sure, even if you flip burgers at burger king, you do have a better life here than in Nepal, but compared to fellow Americans, you're not really successful. Furthermore, is living a Middle-Class life really an "American dream"? I don't think so, if you ask me. You need to be prosperous and successful, whatever that means. Got to do better than your parents and what not. Economists like Stiglitz believe that not everybody can be propserous. All I'm saying is that "American dream" is an urban myth, and you're not alone, Bhumika. "American dream" is a reality for only a handful of people. Most of us are just like you. There is very limited social mobility. If you're born poor, chances are you'll be poor the rest of you life.
That's the primary difference between republicans and democrats, in a way. Republicans think "American dream" is a possibility, while many democrats think it can be a possibility through incentives. Many liberals, however, feel that "American dream" doesn't even exist. This is a very controversial topic.

IndisGuise,

Your thinking is always alike. Are you my long lost brother in Cumbha ko mela? LoL. haha.

IndisGuise,

Sorry, What I meant was our thinking is always alike.

Happiness, satisfaction with life, is all relative; it all depends on the state of one's mind.
Just because one holds a good paying job and is living in US does not translate to a more fulfilled, and more happy life than that of a ricksaw driver of Thamel.

Simon11, it is Kumba ko mela hola.

I was wearing orange vest and purple kattu. Were you wearing yellow vest and hariyo kattu? If yes, we are brothers indeed. ;)

Heheee... mere bhaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii haha. aiight gtg for now Simon, got to get warm, kknow wot i mean? Howz party thing going?


Later,
IndisGuise:)

Bhumi, you choose a nice topic to write on. ya, after I read that article on NP NEWS that day, for a while, I thought to send comments/compliments in your email. I used to sent articles as you did. Therefore, I was interested. But , I didn't do so for no reason. The vary next day, Laura made you the sajha celebrity. That is very sweet of her though, right?

About your Article,you had potrayed the body of your writing well, however the article would have been more interesting and complete if you had explained your definition of American Dream and provide Suggestions to your readers. It was not very clear what you meant by "For all of you who want to leave Nepal, think before you make the move." Now look at your quoted sentenced. What kind of Move do you want them to make? Are you telling them to come or not to come to U.S or so?

As a columnist- writer, you know better than us (readers). I am positive we would be able to read more Professional Articles in near Future. Good Luck !


-BD


P.S. Sajha readers should remember this, if one puts his/her efforts in study, one would be able to get M.S in one yr. These academic yrs are very efficient timewise, if one takes course options which is 30 crds and work hard could get it.