American dream’ turned sour For all of you who want to leave Nepal, think before you make the move! By Bhumika Ghimire Like thousands of students in Kathmandu, America was my escape from all the tough realities of life in Nepal-- pollution, social pressure, political turmoil and lack of opportunities. I never thought that living in a country where I don’t know anyone and where money stands over human relationships and emotions would be a bad idea. America had the charm and the appeal that never faded, no matter how many doubts I had they all seemed trivial in front of the tremendous opportunity America presented. It has been two years since I arrived in the USA and all that American charm and glory seems far from the reality. I laugh at myself sometimes for believing that I had a reasonable chance to succeed here. I came with no money, no contacts, with just dreams and hope. I had a dream of becoming an IT consultant, earning decent amount of money so that I could bring my family here and yes, travel around the world. The dream is still alive but is far from being a reality. For a year, I struggled to get my degree, working odd jobs, one of which was at an Indian restaurant. From 9:00 a. m. to 4:00 p. m. I used to attend college then from 5:00 p. m. to 10:00 p. m. I used to work. I don’t want to make it simple by saying that all this was hard. It was way beyond that, every day I used to remember my carefree days in Kathmandu. I had my parents taking care of everything. All I had to do was being nice and study hard. Still I used to give them so much trouble, never listened to what they said. It was hard remembering those days during the long working hours, listening to all the remarks people at work made about my accent and my looks. Sometimes I used to question myself, why did I come here? To listen to all these remarks? I left my home, family, decent job and came here to work as a Server in a restaurant..? I used to comfort myself by saying that even if times now are tough, after I get my degree I will surely get a great job and things would be great. I am laughing again at myself, because nearly a year after graduating top of my class, I am still struggling in between the odd jobs. The dream job I wished for is nowhere in sight, but my credit card bills are surely becoming mountain high. Now-a-days I have just stopped thinking about all the dreams I had when I came here, I just focus on getting by each day at a time. It seems much easier that way. Still you cannot run away from the reality or hide the facts. I consider myself as a failure, I do regret coming to America and not being able to accomplish anything. But then now slowly I am learning to live with my failures. I volunteer at a local organization, work with people less fortunate than me and try to find a purpose among all the things that went wrong in my life. I am learning to believe this is a phase and it will pass. For all of you who want to leave Nepal, think before you make the move. Grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence. (A graduate of Schiller University, Florida, Ghimire is currently based in the US and writes on contemporary issues. Please send your comments to bhumika_g@yahoo.com)