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chicksrock
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Posted on 09-25-10 2:06
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hey, I have my story to tell u guys, I need help. My mother wanted me to be aborted but coz she was 5 mths pregnant n had 3 children she cld not. If she did abort she might have lost her life. all thru the years I have struggled to get her love or affection. when we fought she alwys told me tht it wld have been easier if she wld have aborted me .I always thought it was out of anger but when i think of it she meant it. I know coz when I was sick she wld never be around me.My dad or sister wld come feed me but never my mom. she has never to this day bought me anything, but she wld take my sisters shopping but never me or buy me anything not even as a kid. I used to be by myself all the time. alone and sad. I used to cry at night askin myself why was I the chosen 1. It seemed she never cared. Now, I am in U S and i recently visited home in this summer actually.She wasn't too thrilled. It was my birthday and she forgot. she asked me why was i in the pooja room and I has tell her . But few weeks later it was my sister's birthday n she came wished n did puja for her. i was completely shattered.I felt she never wanted me.these kind of incicdents keep happening. But it is so obvious tht i can feel it.She has never to this day held my hand or has made me feel like she ever loved me or loves. I have had days when I wld be sick n would tell her n she wld completely ignore me. I am the youngest. aren't youngest supposed to be pampered??? Now i have been so distant from her tht i don't feel like talkin to her. She never calls me to say how i am unless she wants money tht wld be once a month. Am i wrong here ??? I just don't know... Plz help
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perrybhadra
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Posted on 09-25-10 2:19
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I think u r just having down time. You don't have to worry about .If you really feel that way. Mother have their hard time. If you are a mature person call her and thank her and tell her that you are grateful. Win over her heart man, it is not like girl friend or other girl . I know she loves you still but u r thinking that way only. Whoever mother is they always love their kid whatever the situation is . Be a bart call her . If you mom don;t call u once in month call her once in a week. It will make her change she will feel like more talking with u . Share with her how are things going @ your end. Life is short their is not much time to think about negative things . Jai hos..
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furke
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Posted on 09-25-10 2:28
AM [Snapshot: 22]
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I felt very bad reading your story. I would suggest that now you try to ignore her. Don't answer her call, don't send any money, stay in touch with your dad only. If she really loves and misses you, you will find her changed in a good way. If not, get married and your wife will shower lots of love for you. She will be your mom, dad, brother, sister and a good friend....
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black_panther
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Posted on 09-25-10 2:42
AM [Snapshot: 39]
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@ chicksrock,
- feel for U ... - haven't seen a mom like such ... - sorry ... hope she changes ...
- Plz ... don't cry ... (that makes me cry too ...)
- give her a big hug next time U see her ... 
Last edited: 25-Sep-10 02:56 AM
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GuitarDaku
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Posted on 09-25-10 9:54
AM [Snapshot: 125]
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I am not an emotional guy usually but I just felt really sad reading your story. I feel for you, man (it sounds like you are a guy).
That puja thing is quite messed up.
Personally, I am of the view that your mom has some mental issues. Treating you like that was just a reaction of those mental issues and "collateral damage" if you know what I mean.
My strategy would be to be the better human being and treat her like a mother, indifferent of her attitude.
Reacting with fire against fire is not fruitful. Using water is much more effective.
Best.
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ANS
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Posted on 09-25-10 10:28
AM [Snapshot: 160]
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That sounds pretty unusual.You told, you have caring father and siblings. Life is a test - you should excel it. Don't have any hard feelings towards her. One day - she will realize her weakness.
smile :)
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chicksrock
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Posted on 09-25-10 10:53
AM [Snapshot: 193]
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thank u all ......but what I wrote is less than half of wht i have gone thru and wht i go thru in day to day life....but being honest to god I love her to death...it just when i am alone sometimes I feel tht i deserve a mother who loves me like evryone. It just hard but i am hanging on.
thank u guys
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BABAL Khate
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Posted on 09-25-10 12:29
PM [Snapshot: 278]
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Chicksrock, It sounds like you feel abandoned. Your mom's overt ignoring you and what you feel to be neglecting you seems to hurt you a lot. It is very hard to cope with feeling like your own parents--and that your mother, doesn't want you or respect you. It sounds like you are struggling to find acceptance in her life just like your siblings have found a place in her heart. Perhaps you are wondering what is wrong with you that makes her reject you but accept your siblings. What did you do wrong? It wasn't your fault that you were born an unwanted child. It is hard not to take responsibility for the way your mom is treating you. Perhaps you blame yourself that you did something wrong to be treated this way. Do you?
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black_panther
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Posted on 09-25-10 12:47
PM [Snapshot: 297]
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@ chicksrock,
- Hope this makes U feel better ...
- The abandoned kid was taken care by Charlie Chaplin ...
Last edited: 25-Sep-10 12:47 PM
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terobaaje
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Posted on 09-25-10 2:29
PM [Snapshot: 371]
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Yo Brother. if I were you I would just ignore her and live on with my life. Dude she blames you for every sh)it that goes wrong in her life and from what you have written she does not give a rats arse whether you live or die SO YOU DO THE SAME MAN. Im just angry because the MOM child relation is supposed to be sacred and she seems to forgeton that with YOU. So bro do good in life, succeed have a family and make sure that your children will never feel the same. If in the future she realizes her mistake than do forgive her but first make her feel so guilty and ashamed to have ignored the best thing that ever happened to her and yes remember Love cant be forced, You cant force her to love you but you can show the reasons why. Good luck brother, lastly become someone ok, someone that any mother would be PROUD to say" hey world thats my son".
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Smart_Lato
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Posted on 09-25-10 3:41
PM [Snapshot: 419]
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lief no faaiirrr... harrd no lovee monther fathaar nooo only self live no distant u are no loveee life i am tireeedddd only focus ur goal ok not worry god luv u but no mother dontt
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chicksrock
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Posted on 09-26-10 1:25
AM [Snapshot: 567]
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Thank u guys I have been very much sad lately so I thought I shared it with u guys. I tried talking to one of my frens abt it n shunned me by saying tht a mother can't do tht. But , he can't understand it has happened n it has happened to me..My mother has choice of other children but I just have 1e e mother so it is hard. I have had ran into when my mm wld be talking to my sisters behind my back abt me n then seeing me they wld shut up.And she had in many occasions turned them against me.I used to fight wid her n tell tht I wld not eat n she wld never come to me n tell me to eat but the case was different wid my sisters. we are a well off family but I had an allowance of rs. 55 weekly when i was in college +2 n my sisters had rs.120 a week. I have never said a word to my parents. My sister got married when i was studying 12 n I used to go to college at 6 n return home at 2 after college n tuition and there wld be no food cooked n i used to cook. My mom wld go to mamaghar n now as my other sister is home she never goes anywhere. These things may sound petty but living like this every single day is definitely a torture. I thank god tht I don't have to live like this anymore. I wrk and study make my own money. But every day I pray to god tht I wish I had a normal loving mom n console myself tht i must have done sth really bad to my mother in my past life.
thank u again guys for ur time to read my sad life story n I wish i had someone to share the whole story wid.......But writing here has somewhat made me feel emancipated//thank u all ...really appreciate u guys giving time in reading my story.
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furke
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Posted on 09-26-10 1:50
AM [Snapshot: 588]
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No matter what don't take wrong actions. Keep in mind user terobaaje's last sentence and b a very successful person. Once in a while take vacations. Go to beaches or some lakes or parks if you have a company, if not head to a bar where u would find one.'
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hurray
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Posted on 09-26-10 1:55
AM [Snapshot: 585]
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I cannot imagine the pain you are going through but I can understand it. And for those who try to deny and say mom or parents could never do that to their kids, I say, hell then can. There are tons of parents who mistreat their kids. They show their preferences among siblings and even make it known. Having a kid is a choice made by the parents and they should provide as much love as they can and equally to their kids, no matter how many of them they have. These kinds of parents cannot feel the pain of the less loved of their kids. And the worse of all, when a kid less loved by his parents talks about it to his siblings, they all deny it and to some extent call him crazy for making things up. In you case, what do your siblings say? Tell them how you feel to see if they will talk to your mom about it. If it stays the same, you should just move on. I understand it is very hard for you as you love your mother a lot but at one point you have to start ignoring her. You cannot let yourself be hurt all the time. Good Luck. Man this story sounds so familiar.
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chicksrock
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Posted on 09-26-10 2:05
AM [Snapshot: 594]
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I have tried talking to my sisters as u said they denied it and said I am just making it all up n stuff so i stopped talking.......The most annoying thing is she talks behind my back n turns my sisters against me....One of sisters had a bf while in school I used to talk to him first so tht my parents wld not suspect as I knew him n he was a nice guy then I used to give the h to my sister. My parents knew abt the relationship. One day my sister had gone to meet him n had lied to mother tht she was goin to meet a fren I didn't know abt it I came home n my mom told me tht I had a bad influenced her n I had made her do tht when i didn't know abt it...Btw she is older than me.......this goes on n on list is endless.....life definitely has been a struggle..In the house , in school everywhere.....No matter wht happens people have family to fall back on but i am by myself........
thank u guys for writing to me n reading..it just chokes me when I read myself. I know i have to let go.
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alche
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Posted on 09-26-10 2:18
AM [Snapshot: 603]
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just sscrew her man............ and yeah... dont send any money to her...... dont about think about a person like.... that... . how could a mom be like that?? i feel sorry for you.... i grew up with the feeling that my dad never loved me... but i was wrong.....
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gorkhalitopi
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Posted on 09-26-10 2:36
AM [Snapshot: 614]
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chicksrock, Have you ever thought that maybe since you're a guy she treats u a little different. It could be that she believes men should be given a different kind of treatment. Does it have to do anything with how your dad treats her(maybe it has changed after having u)? Just a few questions for you to answer to urself. Maybe its not about you at all! Regardless, keep loving your parents. You'll eventually get all the love just communicate well. Remember love is just a reflection, love them and you will get much more back.
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chicksrock
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Posted on 09-26-10 1:53
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Its not abt men being treated differently coz i have a brother too. we are 4 all together n we were well off family so nthg major prob. But I love her but I somehow haven't been able to find place in her heart and guess never will so it is my fate.....It is hard though and a constant reminder tht u were neglected all ur chilhood.
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chicksrock
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Posted on 09-26-10 2:08
PM [Snapshot: 797]
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Plz guys aba ma k garu???? aba chilhood ta firta audaina ani it still goin on ...aba k garu ma??? suggest garnu na plzzzzzzzzz
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terobaaje
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Posted on 09-26-10 3:16
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chrisrock bro, read this post from top to bottom TEN times before you ask for more suggestions....there are a lot of great suggestions for you, why do you keep on asking for more suggestions?? dont you read our comments???. do what ever you feel like, you can feel bad for yourself and hang on to your past or you can learn from your past and look for a bright future, Moove on bro BUT ITS YOUR CHOICE. No one is to blame.
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