I am just throwing it out there coz its killing me to keep this to myself...as I am really not sure wat to do next. Here is the story...my bf whom I had been dating for almost three and a half years proposed last night and I didnt say 'yes' or 'no'. I dont know what to think of it now. Did I scare him off by my non-response? Well, I said..ask me again, later. What was I thinking? GRRR. He said he will ask again, for sure and that he loved me and he went back to his place.

The thing is I always wanted to marry him and we both had started making plans for it, so the proposal didnt come out of the blue..It was expected and he knew that I would say 'yes' too. Still...when the moment came, I think I messed up big time. I know he will ask again and that not my worry, I am just wondering you guys think I let him down. I talked to one of my guy friends and he said that a guy would never want to hear 'ask later' no matter how committed we are. That got me wondering.

He is not a Nepali and its been a big issue for my family and his. They have practically given up and left it up to us to decide where we want to go from here. So we decided we will stick with each other and hope that the family comes around. My family is visiting me right now and had couple of relatives too. My bf was invited over for dinner and things was all well until the details of the wedding came up. He said he will do everything according to Nepali rituals but then the conversation blew out of proportions. No bad words exchanged...but it was very heated, my bf keeping quiet most of the time. After couple of hours of 'go ahead marry him, no dont marry him, he is not a nepali, i hope you are happy, how can you leave us? etc etc' he asked me to step out of the house for a minute. I did...and he got down to one knee and asked me to marry him. I was already in tears for last two hours or so....and I told him that I was just in a state to accept a proposal at this minute. I also said that there is no doubt about me saying a yes, I just thought we could do it when I was in a good emotional state. He agreed and left after saying bye to everyone. Thats the Ramayan version of my life.

So, you think I shouldnt have responded that way? What would it do a guy's ego? Or was the reaction appropriate given the circumstances? I talked to him today and he seemed happy....but guys and their feelings have always been a mystery to me.

Help me clear out my head!!

Well Bostan girl

Nepalese parents always try to emotionally blackmail their children.They dont let thier children do unless they also like the fact.Ma "maridinchu" is the common one. I know one of my friends mum is saying this for last 6 months but he has not yet done so, I have been telling him she wont die , just do the thing you want and marry you gf but he is hesitating.I hate this bullshiiiiiiit from nepalse parents.



here is the story I know when I was in Australia .One girl I know had BF and she wanted to marry him , Her parents said hundaina, we want khandani keta , this and that , we are from "THIS" family and all that. After finding out that the guy was from better family or I would say from dhani family her mom instantly said yes.They were supposed to marty but one day the guy became ill and was hospitalized.

Her parents immidately called her and asked her to leave that guy because he no longer was good enough.They threatened her with emotioanal things. She listened and left him.

Later the guy died when we took him back to Nepal where his last wish was to see her . He told everyone for 3 months that he wants to see her. She never went to see him.

Same girl, called her parents one day and asked , mum and dad, there are two guys who just proposed me , one is indian and one is pakistani , kun sanga biha garau?
her parenst told her which one is PR(PR is same as Green card in AUS). Girl answered Indian one?
Then marry the Indian.She is happliy( I suppose )married to that guy with two children.

you know Why I told this story even though i hate this girl.
Nepalese parents haru Dahni manche khojchan. Love and nationlaity is not a matter to them , if your guy was multimillionare your mum would defenetaly say yes.Heart doesnot work for Nepalese parents.Money , status and GC does.

My advice ask your heart not sajha , here you get people like "how may times you have sx etc" .

have a happy life.


cheers

what fucccccccking shit here, She is just for Greencard , then she will leave that non Nepali Bastard

I m a green card holder and my gf left me yesterday .

Boston girl, Probably the most important decision of your life and here you're asking help from strangers. I don't understand how does this help you. Some say, yes do it, some say don't do it. This will make you more cofused.
You've been crying and not sleeping like crazy, your parents had to come from Nepal to stop you, you haven't opened up what his nationality and background( like if he was married before etc) infront of the crowd. My senses tell me that you're a very emotional person, and easily trust people. You think too much and worry too much. You tend to seek others to make decisons for you. Sister, life does not work like this. Only you know all the details. Try not to be emotional for a moment and think with a cool head.
if you can't live without the guy then go ahead , leave the home and marry him right now. rent an apartment or something. but make sure why are your parents against him? is he a muslim and trying to convert you after the marriage or something? can you accept such changes? think with a cool head and make that your decison. then don't regret , or have double thoughts, just stick with the decision.

Boston girl,
I agree with esctasy. Ask your heard more than to Sajha. Like esctsay has told here you get people asking “how may times you have sx etc". Nevertheless, there are people who have gone through the similar problems and take the problems very personally and try to give decent suggestion.

As for me, I think you know your problem best than any other so you can decide best on your problem. But surely suggestions from all can help you to make a better decision.

Ask your heart, is this guy all for your life? Can you be with this guy all your life (forget about your parents now). If your answer is 50.1 % yes, go for it. Every Parents love their children no matter what. And it’s not their problem that they are reluctant to your proposed guy. Remember they are one generation behind us and they were grown in Nepal where people are so free to talk about others and have no work at all. So obviously they are tensed how they gonna convince the society and other relatives for whom this is a great masala for full one month talk.

If you decision is to go with your guy, ask the guy that you expect live to your parents from his side always. That’s is the best thing you and your guy can give to your parentss. Love them more and support them more….because as you two get together permanently their problem will start and they will be needing best support of your (even if they say they don’t wanna see you nowonwards).

All the best.

If you think love and marriage is same thing than go for the guy. If not get someone you can marry not only love. Love ta kukur ko pani lagchha sangai basyo bhane. Do you love your car you drive or a bag you carry? ..Love is no big deal - Relationship is ;How happy you are.

How is love different from marraige - Marriage has social , legal , economic and parental consequences ; love has none. Its for you to decide.

BostonGirl,
u may have posted this thread to know how ur guy might be thinking after ur disapproval . Well, when we care someone so much and when that someone means a lot to us then theres always a part of us which made us scared of lossing the grip and ruining the realtionship. Even though we have enuff faith with each-other, Surroundings around us always keeps on putting us in complex worries. I guess, its good to be worry in some way as this worrying time do help us to figure out what we want out of our life.But i dun think you will get precise answer-to-your-question over here. Becuz, remember?? different person with different personality and different ideology??. Yes, u may figure out general conclusion from the posts over here but that might not be the ultimate answer...only your Bf can answer u in the most convincing and real way.

About convincing ur parents, try more. Bcuz they are your parents and they always want the best for u. theres no love in this whole world which is more pure and affetionting than the parents love is. HOw about keeping ur parents in one place and you saying them in a cool mood with a direct eye contact-" hajur haru ko j decision hunchha i will go for that . mero laghi hajur ko thau ma khoi pani auna sakdaina not even my bf . But i want you to know hajur haru ko chori loves him and i want you both to try to understand him in positive ways . yadi hajur haru le (mention ur bf name) mero laghi khojye ko keta bhaye ko bhaye jun way ma uh sangha react garnu hune thiyo exactly thehi way ma(mention ur bf name) pani chance dinu ra thehi way ma uslai assess garnu hoss.Hajur hajur ko chori ko laghi yo chance dinu hoss plz. whatever your decision will be after knowing him in better ways i will GO for that. Hajur haru ko chori ho ma so beleive me mero choice hajur haru ko bhandha vinna huna sakdaina, just hajur haru autta chance dinu, uslai bujane ra usle hajur haru lai bujaune...this is all i want to say! " ...yes, parents always takes their child as a kid but when u will communicate coming to their level of conversation then i m sure they will think over it and they will perceive u as a grown up lady. U know?? parents tries to control our life bcuz they take us as a small kid but once u can convince them that u are not anymore 5-6 yrs but u are matured enuff then they will begin to respect ur decision.

Hey u have talked only about ur parents...how about guy's parents??...i suppose it wud be more appropirate to arrange a meeting for your both parents and let them discuss over it bcuz u two have decided what u want and for a healthy relation both sides parents need to agree as well...mariage is a big thing , atleast it is for me...eheh.

wish u luck and i will always say try to convince your parents b4 u jump up into other things.

hahahahaaaaaa boston gal i think u gonna go crazy hearing all this bull shiits

just do whatever u feel is right..... its your future gal

Thanks for everyone who have given their two cents...My boyfriend proposed again last night and this time i said a big YESSSS :-)
Parents are still uncomfortable with the news but I know they will turn around soon.

Oh...and the ring is absolutely breathtaking...very beautiful. :-D

congratulation!!! I hope I will find a girl like you someday..re ke

Lol Bhalu

chadi boston gal ma pani handsome chu..aachai bhalu bhaneko hera ta..

haha!!!!!!

waht a sad ending of this thread..........

Well boston girl if you suffer in ur life in the future plz don't send any more thread on those stuffs....... alright.............

I know you'll have problem in ur life...... for sure........ try to solve it urself.... coz we ain't gonna help you
anyways......... congratulation for getting to have a new step in ur life.. that's the most important one...... marriage........ It ain't a joke ......... rite.........

-Rockend

Congratulations!! Where’s the party tonight, again?? :D Good luck to you and yours for the 'official' start of a new life together. May the "ring" set the spirits free!!

.he asked you again without getting the consent of your parents... what the hell is he doing and what are you doing... i hope you guys know what you are doing... and that just sucks... i wonder... but, i hope you're all happy...

if you had said bigg yessssss in the first place then you wouldn't have to cry and shit.. people here wouldbn't have to spend their bored time giving you counselling etc.. you sound like you enjoy being a drama queen...
i thought you were a reasonable person who's having to make a tough decision given the parents and your complicated love life. however, you were just an emotional and wasted everyone's time.
.. boring...

I think, to love someone and to love and live with someone for all of ur life could be two different things. Person could change after living together (or after getting married). It's really hard to live 2 lives together. I dated my college for 3 years and she got married with somebody else. I felt so bad that I went through very bad times but now I think and look back those days and I would say that I did the right thing by not getting married with her. We loved eachother very much and still we could easily sacrifice our everything for eachothers happiness but we had so many uncommen things that would come out and could make big things after getting married. Listen to your heart but make decesion from your brain.

I am happy with this news.. and Hope mine also will end this way...

Phatte - muaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!! i totally agree with you, you said everything there need to be said!! :D
:)
but still,
bostongirl - congrats! :)