Good one dHwasE Bro here is one from me for today,

A salesman who was doing market research for the Vaseline Company
Knocked at the door and was greeted by a young woman with three
Small children running around at her feet.

   "I'm doing some research for Vaseline. Have you ever used the
   Product?" She said, "Yes. My husband and I use it all the time."
   "If you don't mind my asking," he said, "what do you use it for?
   "
   "We use it for sex," she said. The researcher was a little taken
   Aback. "Usually people lie to me and say they use it on a child's
   Bicycle chain or to help with a gate hinge. But, in fact, I know
   That most people do use it for sex. I admire you for your honesty.

   Since you've been so frank so far, can you tell me exactly HOW you
   Use it  for sex?" The woman said, "I don't mind telling you at
   All. My husband and I put it on the doorknob and it keeps the kids out."