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 Husband cheated on me, now what?
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Posted on 01-15-23 1:33 AM     [Snapshot: 128]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Lie low for now. Pretend you don’t know. Gather evidences secretly. When your baby is a little older and you are strong enough, file for divorce. He will have to pay alimony and child support. What a jerk, your husband.
 
Posted on 01-15-23 12:30 PM     [Snapshot: 293]     Reply [Subscribe]
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If its just a casual sexual relationship, then its normal , every man has it or intend to do it . I have been involved in casual sexual relationship outside my marriage past 15 years n enjoy it . If i ever find out my wife been doing it ill take it light n wouldn't blame her . Since your were pregnant, its likely that he fulfilled his physical desire with someone since you were off the track . But if its more than a casual sexual relationship then lawyer up , fight for your financial freedom n held him accountable for child care and other expenses .

Be aware, if a man steps one leg in different boat ur likely to be left behind anytime . Plan for finance , make a plan to squeeze his money as much as u can . People come n go , feelings are not as important as finance . You can have feelings to anyone but hard to have good finance .

So , if its more than a sexual relationships that your husband is having , lawyer up and cut him right away. Sooner is better.
 
Posted on 01-15-23 1:11 PM     [Snapshot: 313]     Reply [Subscribe]
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We Nepalese and Indian children learn quickly the fine arts of dissimulation and we live our whole life with it.
You (tps2gc) have casual sex and you are saying it is okay, how about your spouse does the same , are you going to tolerate it ? YOUR SPOUSE IS ALSO ON THE SIMILAR BOAT?

Many Sajha members are offended by minor things think of them if their spouses have casual sex.
 
Posted on 01-15-23 1:50 PM     [Snapshot: 344]     Reply [Subscribe]
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@Logan,
tps2gc has already said he is okay with it if he finds his wife is having some casual sex out of their marriage.

"If i ever find out my wife been doing it ill take it light n wouldn't blame her . "

@tps2gc
Well, when you said, "feelings are not important, only finances are" I kind of do not agree with this. Corporate world in USA is like that, they do not think twice when they have to fire someone regardless of their years of experience. People are cold hearted, I do not deny when it comes to the interest of the company in question, but in relationships....I value feelings more than finances. When you die, you cannot take all those wealth along with you as we all know. Dying with a feeling that you lived a good life surrounded with people who loved you for what you have been is better than being surrounded with all your wealth and money strewn around you. 

@Glowing,
I do not know if you are genuine or not, but I kind of agree to what tps2gc has recommended. 

This post reminded me of Underwear who claimed to have slept with 15-20 women in his life through his sex stories in Sajha. Just wondering if you happen to be his wife? If you are his wife, it will be really sad for Underwear then. 

 
Posted on 01-15-23 1:51 PM     [Snapshot: 351]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Logan, did u read my comment saying ,"If i ever find out my wife been doing it ill take it light n wouldn't blame her" what does it mean?

If your wife is sexually active outside you house ,its not her fault rather its you being unable to make her happy some times .
 
Posted on 01-15-23 2:41 PM     [Snapshot: 380]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Logan, tps2gc is a perfect example of Nepali male chauvinist. He is saying confidently he won’t mind his wife’s infidelity. But I seriously doubt that.

And maybe it is normal for some people to have extra marital affairs but the impact of their wives finding it out can have serious psychological implications on those poor women. They will feel inadequate and may even go into depression.

But of course, chauvinist husbands like tps2gc do not think of their wives’ mental well being.
 
Posted on 01-16-23 3:13 AM     [Snapshot: 598]     Reply [Subscribe]
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@Glowing, Don’t make any rash decision! just found out that my husband cheated on me? How did you find out? Did his gf call or text you?im sure your husband did not tell you. Try to amend the situation. Go have a STD checked out on him. Don’t blow things out of proportion. You can’t go to Nepal because child support and other legal complexities. I would suggest you guys for a marriage counseling before you file for divorce. With the child involved the judge going to send you all for marriage counseling before she petition is filed for dissolution. We all mess up in lives knowingly and unknowingly. Try to forgive at least once, but don’t let people run over you again and again
 
Posted on 01-16-23 3:44 PM     [Snapshot: 778]     Reply [Subscribe]
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I asked " are you okay if your spouse has casual sex" Noting else.



 
Posted on 01-18-23 12:36 PM     [Snapshot: 1099]     Reply [Subscribe]
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@chicagoan, 
May be I misunderstood your write up there, but I would not call tpsg2c a male chauvinist per se. He is not saying only men can have extra-marital affairs as such or men are better etc. I think he is keeping a fair viewpoint over the extra-marital thing, i.e. since he has had some casual sex out of marriage so he does not mind finding out if his wife did it at some point of her life. See, these kinds of talks used to shock me while I was in Nepal, but now while being in this country for so long, I do not feel anything. This is how things are here. I have seen all kinds of odd and weirdest things on national TV here when I first came, like 'Wife Swappers', 'Dating Naked', bla bla. There are whole bunch of people out there who still indulge in these kinds of activities in US of A. My jaw constantly dropped initially when these kind of shows were being broadcasted...and remember some years ago, they had this data breach on this website called 'Asley Madison' where married or unmarried guys were signing to hook up with random girls and stay anonymous. It was like escort service fully covered in an appealing façade with some one liner like "Life is short, come have an affair". 
Then a journalist did a full scoop on how some young girls in Harvard are staying with their sugar daddies to finance their studies through out while giving their sugar daddies the "favor". You know what I mean right? Me being in Boston was disgusted to know about this kind of culture in this so called big Ivy League schools. See I have seen it all and I understand their intention too being an Asian with a different mindset coming from a dissimilar background. I may not indulge in these kind of activities, but people around me do, and as we all know lot of us in foreign countries have acclimatized very well to their surroundings. Like for example, Nepalese feasting on beef very easily after coming abroad. Nepalese are way forward in accepting the changes happening around. 
So coming back to what tps2gc has said, I do not feel "taken aback" like others may. I have had some friends in circle around me, who were all wild, jumping from bed to bed before marriage, but after marriage and kids, they kind of mellowed down, but when given a chance they would quite easily sleep around. They still do and then feel sorry after they come back to the reality. So I kind of buy what ts2gc has said above and then he is saying he is okay if he finds something like that about his wife, so that is a fair deal right?
Now telling about one's dirty deal to your spouse can be tormenting to the other, yes, but who would really wash the dirty linen so easily in public? It is like "Don't ask, don't tell" policy here. Finding out such liaisons from sources can do more harm than good, that I agree. And here we do not know what has transpired in Mrs Glowing's case.

I am not advocating any kind of culture that I do not believe, but I am just giving a benefit of doubt to tps2gc. I will tell you one thing, what makes me really angry. I had this Syrian friend, now no longer in touch. He used to brag about all his sex relations he was having in his life and then one day he said, he is going to find a Syrian girl who is "virgin" and "homely" to make his wife. Man, I had the longest debate with this bro. That is the double standards that grosses me out every now and then. You can have all the fun in your life and then when it comes to marriage, you want the purest being untouched by none?? 
At least tps2gc is not saying anything in that line, right?

 
Posted on 01-18-23 2:13 PM     [Snapshot: 1162]     Reply [Subscribe]
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बेन्डिक भाईको जत्ति समालोचनात्मक छेमेता र कमन सेन्स अरु साथिहरुमा कहिले आऊछ होला ? येही पाराले त सायद अर्को ८० ९० वर्ष लाग्छ होला . हुन त मेरी बेहुली पनि म जस्तै औठा छाप नै हो ,( मिल्क टि लाइ मिलिक टि भन्छे ) तर पनि यौन भनेको फगत सार्रिरिक आवस्येकता मात्र हो भन्ने बुझाई मेरी बुढीको छ . एउटा उदहारण दिन्छु :

( एकचोटी मेरो बुद्धि बिग्रिएर मेरो घरमा डेरामा बस्ने केटि संग हिम-चिम बढ्यो . उसको बुडो नेपाल गएको बेला ९ १० महिना कोभिडको कारण नेपालमै अड्कियो . रमाइलोको लागि मात्र भन्ने सम्झौता अनुसार त्यो केटि र मेरो बीच ५ ६ महिना सम्बन्ध रह्यो . पछि त त्यो आइमाईले म संग पैसा पो माग्न थाली . मलाई पनि सहि नसक्नु भयो र बुडा बुडी दुवै लाइ घर बाट निकालिदिए . तेस्को प्रतिसोध साध्न तेस्ले मेरो बुढीलाइ हाम्रो फोटो पठाई . मेरो बुढीले मलाई कुट्छे जस्तो लागेको थियो तर बुडीले त तेस्लाई घरमा बोलाएर मार संग थर्काई " तलाई ,आफ्नो बुडोलाइ नेपाल पठाएर यहाँ कसको बुडो संग पैसा छ को लाटो छ तेस्ता लाइ फसाएर पैसा लुट्न खोज्छस ? त र तेरो बुडो दुवै लाइ डिपोर्ट गर्दीम ?" येस्तै येस्तै भनेर मार थर्काई .

म संग पनि ४ ५ दिन राम्रो संग बोलिन तर कुट्न चै कुटीन . तेस्पछि यो कुरा सकियो . भालेहरु पोथी भन्दा यौनमा अलिधेरै आसक्त नै हुन्छन . पायो भने जो संग पनि ढिकी-च्याउ गर्न पछि पर्दैनन . यो भन्दैमा धोका दियो , बर्बाद भयो भन्ने निस्कर्स चै निकाल्न मिल्दैन तर सजग भने अवस्य हुनु पर्छ . म संग भन्दा धेरै सम्पति मैले उसकोमा किनेको भएर पनि मैले धोका दिन्न भन्ने उसलाई होला . तेसैले सम्पति चै आफ्नो मुठीमा कस्नु पर्छ . ढिकी -च्याउ गर्न चै छोडिन्न तर स्वोर्गकै अप्सरा आए पनि मेरी थाप्रे बेहुलीलाइ छोड्न चै छोडिन्न .

माथि बेन्डिक भाइले अंग्रेजीमा भने जस्तै , आदर्शका कुरा गर्नेहरु चै अभागी हुन् , यिनीहरुले नपाएर हुन् पाए भने बुडी बाख्री पनि छोडदैनन् . मेरो बटम लाइन ,बुढीले मलाई डबल क्रस गर्ने बाताबरण सिर्जना गर्दिन , जति बुढो हुन्छु उति सारिरिक परिश्रम गरेर झिल्के बन्ने कोसिस गर्ने छु , यौनक नया नया टेक्निकको अध्यन र अनुसन्धान गर्ने छु , येति गर्दा गर्दै पनि जाँठीले कथम कदाचित झुक्याएर गोल हानी भने तेस्को छेमताको तारिफमा Standing ovation दिनुको विकल्प हुने छैन .

 
Posted on 01-18-23 11:05 PM     [Snapshot: 1295]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Trump cheated on Melania while she was pregnant and he was sleeping with, of course, a porn star.
Things could not get more Trumpian than this.


Trump Lawyer Arranged $130,000 Payment for Adult-Film Star's Silence - WSJ




Last edited: 18-Jan-23 11:05 PM

 
Posted on 01-20-23 11:58 AM     [Snapshot: 1754]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Just want to say, that it is not only men who cheat or have "fun" out of marriage. It is women too. What more than this news floating around lately, a married lady cop from Tennessee fired for having sex with 4 male cops while at duty. This is quite disgusting piece of news coming out lately, but just want to point out, anybody can cheat and anybody can have multiple sex partners. And what more the husband of that lady cop is now saying they were in "open marriage" and he will still stick with his wife even after she has been disgraced nationally.
This is the America I know. If such things have happened in Nepal, definitely, I would have gotten the shock of my lifetime. But here I know and have seen how sex lives of people are. They may be some posh and really rich family people but their sex lives can really be sickening. I have seen enough in my college and my some selected friends' circle here. Sad but true.


 
Posted on 01-20-23 12:31 PM     [Snapshot: 1763]     Reply [Subscribe]
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"Just want to say, that it is not only men who cheat or have "fun" out of marriage. It is women too"  बेन्डिक काँठाको यो कुरामा सहि थाप्न मात्र आको . धोका दिने उतिकै संख्यामा करोसपोंडिंग महिला पनि हुन्छन . मेरै भूपू घरपेटी  दिदिको कुरो गर्नुस न , नेपालाँ तेत्रो भुस्तिग्रे लोग्ने हुदा हुदै उसलाई धोका दिएर म संग एक वर्ष सम्म सुतेकी, ल हेर्नुस त !!  बिचरा त्यो भिनाजुलाइ सम्झेर कैले कहिँ त कस्तो माया लाग्ने यार . फेरी माया-पिरिम नै नभएको भए त एउटा कुरो , भिजनु आउन साथ मलाई छोडेर त्यो दिदि लपक्क उतै टाँसिन गएकी ल हेर्नुस त !! अझ बेस्ट कपल , mah fev person , soulmate भन्दै टिकटक पे टिकटक बनाउदै बसेकी छन् . 

हुनत अरुसंग सुत्दैमा धोका भन्न नमिल्ने तर्क पनि आयो माथि जुन केहि हद सम्म सहि हो .  तिर्खा लागेको बेलाँ कंचन पानिको मूल भेट्यो भने कसले  पानि पिउदैन ? ४ ५ वर्ष देखि खारिएर बसेकी दिदिलाइ म कंचन  पानिको मूल भएर प्रस्तुत भए तेस बेलाँ . बुढो आए पछि दत्त चित्त भएर दायाँ बायाँ नहेर्री बुडोकै भक्तिगानमा दिदि लागेकी हुनाले ति दिदिलाइ "धोकेबाज " को क्याटागोरीमा राख्न नमिल्ला  सायद . 

अर्को तर्फ बाट हेर्दा, भिनाजु भन्ने भुस्तिग्रे पनि खारिएर त के बस्यो होला र नेपालाँ भन्ने अनुमान गर्न सकिन्छ . ४ ५ ओटी बुडी बाख्री त हलाल गर्यो होला भनेर संखाको सुबिधा लिन सकिन्छ . 


 
Posted on 01-20-23 12:53 PM     [Snapshot: 1781]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Ram Bhakta,
बेन्डिक काँठाको ..... this is racial profiling. I request you to please not assume about other people's background and religion without knowing them in person.

मेरै भूपू घरपेटी  दिदिको कुरो गर्नुस न , नेपालाँ तेत्रो भुस्तिग्रे लोग्ने हुदा हुदै उसलाई धोका दिएर म संग एक वर्ष सम्म सुतेकी, ल हेर्नुस त !! 
So you have quite conveniently applied my statement to your case scenario. But well, that's applicable too, yes. 

Regarding this whole scenario, the only thing I will say for you and for that lady cop is what is important to you? "Character" or "Needs". If you think you have this sex needs overpouring your whole life and existence that you do not care about your character or integrity as a person, then that is for you to decide. But if you have the guts to suppress the needs to keep your morals high in your life and society than go for it. Because that might fare you better than giving in for your sex needs.
I cannot judge people sometimes on how they conduct themselves in society. Like for that lady cop, I do not know what to say, Her hubby is cool with the whole scandal, but the whole police department was humiliated by her act. Sometimes we have to maintain our decorum and conduct at our work places to set the good precedents for others. I agree it was her oversight to have sex at workplace and that act is being disgraced everywhere, but this is like not a new thing in America. It has happened before and will happen again, no doubt about it. 


 
Posted on 01-22-23 11:30 AM     [Snapshot: 2278]     Reply [Subscribe]
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बिचरी प्रसुतीको बेला यिन्का श्रीमान लाई पनि सँगै प्रसुती कछ्य मा बसाएको बेला प्रसबको दु:खाईको  रुवाइ सँगै बच्चा निक्लदा भएको वाकोफ्यानग योनी देखे पछी यिन्को बुढाको मनमा माया अनी अर्को तिर आफ्नो गुला समेत छिरेर उतै हराउला भन्ने डरले परस्त्री सँग रास लीला मनाएको हुन सक्छ | अहिले वाङ परेको योनी पनि साङुरिदै कसिदै गएको अनी बुढो पनि लहसिदै आएको कारण अकारण साझामा कोरेछु  भनी आँफैले कोरेको धागो मेटाएकी हुन सक्छ | हजुरले  पनि बुढोले परस्त्री खोजे झै खोजेको भए " बरालिने पोईको तालिम" नामको कथा मा झै हजुरको बुढो पनि अरुतिर आँखा नलगाइ काम सिध्धिन पाएको छैन हजुरलाई भेटन कुद्थ्यो |
Another theory:
यो धागोका स्रिजकले (Glowing) बच्चा भए पछी मेरो श्रीमान ले अर्को सँग पल्कियो भनी लेखेको धागो मेटिए पछी अहिले हामी नौटन्की का कलाकार अनी यो उपबुजरुक रमाइलो मानेर पढ्दै होला !
कलेज ताका एक दिन रत्नपार्क को खुल्ला मन्च मा भएका मनिषहरु आकाश हेरेर अनी कोही कोइ औल्याउदै बसेका थिए | मैले पनि हेरे देख्ने कुरा केही थिएन | दाईले भन्नु भयो , फोस्सामा मनोरन्जन को स्वादादन गर्नेको खेल हो , यो भिड तिर होइन , भिड देखी टाढा हेर अनी थाहा पाउछस |
एउटाले भिड बिच माथि हेर्न सुरु गर्‍यो अर्को ले औल्याउन थालयो, अरु हरु के हेर्यो भन्दै हेर्न थाले , आकाश तिर हेर्ने को सन्ख्या बड्दै गयो | ति चन्डाल हरु अलिक टाढा बसी फोस्सा मा आनन्द लुटी रहेका थिए होलान |
अहिले हामी मदारिका पात्र ( बाँदर वा भालु ) भएका छौ भने मदारी (Glowing) हाम्रो खेल हेर्दाइ मजा लुट्दै होला |
Last edited: 22-Jan-23 02:52 PM

 


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