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 10 New Benefits of Indian Takeover of Nepal

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Posted on 07-24-08 11:31 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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But one biggest loss is - We loose our identity as NEPALI

 


 
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Posted on 06-24-09 11:19 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Hey pass some badam and suntala over, lets sit in the sun and eat badam suntala and talk about politics. :D

mR. hyDe,

that IS an ugly fantasy, please spare us :D haha.

Maybe "Frail Old Girija" is responsible for the scarcity of Yarchagumba up in the mountians. ;)

I can imagine him chewing off a coupla caterpillar heads while some unfortunate women weep hysterically in the background, clutching onto plane tickets to Bollywood.

Anyhooo, my hot blooded brothers and sisters, who shall we punch today?

/rolls wheel of fortune.

And the winner is:



(drumroll)



Mother Teresa !


I don't think so.

/rolls again

Commrade Prachande!!!

LETS GET HIM!


you: Why?

me: I dunno, he just seems like he's a very bad guy whos put our country in deep shit! Plus I really have this craving to punch someone. Maybe his nose is itching for a beating.

you:  (laughs) The country ALREADY was in deep shit before he came.

me: Still, lets get him, I wanna punch someone.

you: Punch yourself silly man.

(passes badam suntala).

me: So you arent a true Nepali? ! :(

you: (stops eating badam) What did you say?

me: I said, if you dont participate in bashing prachande, FOG (Frail Old Girija) will come with a mouthful of caterpillars and rape your household and your neighborhood, and you will not only lose your assvirginity, but also your citizenship. You won't be a true nepali.

you: .... but i am...i try to be...i try shoo hard!

me: its not working. you loser... you arent nepali..go join india!!

you: so if I help bash prachande, I will regain my Nepali-pan?

me: thats how it works. i think.

you: (rips shirt like Hulk Hogan) PRACHANDE M*J* RAN** ** ****O KATA CHAS! AIJA BAHIRA MUSA! TALAI KAAT DINCHU! BUJHIS M*J*??

me: (battle cry) PRAACHAAANDDEEEEE!!!!!!!!

[curtains close with two running like madmen through fields of grazing sheep]


***********************THE END**********************************










 
Posted on 06-24-09 11:32 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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DECDRI bro all is say is lol hahah
 
Posted on 06-24-09 11:42 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Well guys, as far as I know from this sajha, deshbhakta was a really patriotic guy and was against any external intervention to nepal including India. Those who are labeling him as a pro indian rather need to understand the frustration of a patriotic nepali, i guess deshbhakta also is one of them, frustrated patriot like me. Those who thinks you are nepalese-as a matter of fact we have politically already annexed with india when Maoists sign 12 points agreement now PM of nepal is not even a like a CM of india, looks like a Sarpanch of Nepalgram where sood to menon can dictate him how/what to do. Forget the popular protocal practiced in the soverign country. Now, this might the plan of RAW to make people of nepal so frustrated and annyoyed with their leadership so that they ultimately agree to be legally annexed with india..who knows? deshbhakata probably on the road already...but the truth is even we become part of india it ain't bring any peace, nepali is treated second class citizen in thier own country now and will be treated likewise..so for nepal I do not see any alternative unless all the nepali folks get united across the globe and make it an international issue only then something might happen. India is becoming super power and nepal is...

 
Posted on 06-24-09 11:52 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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A true patriot frustated Nepali should be ignorant about indian charms.
 
बैरागिकाइलो
Posted on 06-24-09 11:59 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Can you do this? If your answer is Yes, then I will think of it.


Can you let your spouse carry orthes babby becasue you want finest children in the word?


 


 
Posted on 06-24-09 12:27 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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I see some serious plagiarism going on in here as of late.
 
Posted on 06-24-09 1:00 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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DD Sir!! Hilarious and very contextual, conceptual and all those -ous
and -uals :D!! You hit the hot with the hottest!!:D  Zis sheet xis
funxyy!!



However, I still do not understand the motive behind these violent
outbursts of profanity, dismembering and sexual innuendo regarding the
thread issue and the creator of this thread. The creator has given us
10 plus 1 benefits. And all the true patriots have started bashing the
thread and the supporters alike.



Lets discuss the points, shall we?



1. Nuclear power in the 4th largest economy. Hmmm.. No, we do not need
that. Why do we need nuclear power. We are already a peace
zone..whatchamacallit..."shanti kshetra". Nobody can attack or invade
us militarily anyways (or that is what I would like to think). And 4th
largest economy! We have been living under depravity and utter
recession and depression for so long, that prosperity seems a far
fetched and unattainable quest, or more so, given the present
happenstances, we are not interested in prosperity and development. Who
has time to do all that peace crap and development, when you can make a
day worth attending a "julus" and maybe a lifetime earning if you "buy"
a seat in parliament or in any government office or even customs at
TIA. So, why would you want to be a part of a 4th largest economy and
lose your identity rather than being the way you are, and intact your
pride and patriotism. Duhh!!!



2.Bollywood. Who gives a crap about bollywood anyways! :D Sachin, who?
Amitabh, he is old anways.  Prashant is not Nepali, to start with. But
funnily, I remember most of the dialogues of Sholay verbatim, and know
that Sachin is the best batsman in the world, but I never heard of Dev
Narayan Chaudhary ( I am worried I got his name right) that he was or
is a star althelete in Nepal. I have vague memories of Rajesh Hamal
singing "aaudai jaadai garnu hai sab lai ram ram" but I think some
Indian singer sang the song. Not sure though! Point being, Bollywood is
more popular in Nepal than Kollywood itself, and Indian players get
more recognition than our Nepalese sportsmen. Prashant who??



3. I have seen plethora of Nepalese-Indian restaurants in the US. Only
a handfuls have authentic Nepalese cuisine. So, rest of them have
Indian before Nepalese written in their boards and menus. I was in this
Nepalese restaurant in Seattle few weeks ago, run by a Bhutanese Nepali
lady. I got the best service than I have got in any Nepalese
restaurants in the US; food was mediocre, but I felt very comfortable
with the service and I overlooked the fact that only 10 percent of the
food was Nepalese, and funny enough, the name was Himalayan Taste. Now,
you do the maths. Her business was booming, and everybody had but only
good words for the place. And I was in this Nepalese restaurant in
Madison, excited to be in an authentic cuisine restaurant. Too bad they
were closed because of Christmas, and I secretly felt glad they were
closed because the curb appeal was next to none, and it didnot seem
like a great place. But all I hear about the place is only wow. So, no
hard feelings there, but it would be more nice if they did a better job
at attracting even Nepalese customers. I wonder if it is just the food
that drew all those wows or an obligatory lauding just because it is
our authentic cuisine. Just naming Everest or Sagarmatha and hanging a
couple of oil paintings of Nepal won't make it a great place.



4. Flying into Nepal from anywhere in the world, especially from The EU
and the US is a nightmare in itself, either it is through Delhi or
Kathmandu. So, why not we save 400 bucks flying into Nepal through
Delhi without any passport issues or visa problems. We are getting the
same treatment and problems in Kathmandu anyways. At least we won't
feel betrayed for being exploited by our own people rather than those
bloody Indians who we already hate. Agree? No? Man...I cannot reason
with you then. :D



5. A couple of weeks ago, one white couple, happy with my cheerful
disposition and great conversation regarding the current recession,
finally asked me the most dreaded question, "Where are you from?"


I said, "Nepal."


"Oh Nepal, such a beautiful place, I hear. Isn't it a part of India, or China? I hear a lot of Tibetans are in Nepal."


I was dumbstruck.


"No, it is a separate country. India and China are only neighbors. And the Tibetans are refugees."


"Oh, I see! I was always confused whether Nepal is in India or China."


It just killed the buzz of the whole conversation, and they left, apologizing for their bad Geography.


And to the debate that whether Buddha was born in Nepal or India, well,
after the inclusion, there will not be any such debates nor any
facebook groups with ludicrous titles. We will all be ONE.



6. Now this point really takes my breath away. Protests and arson in
the roadblocks over usage of Hindi in the parliament. It is really
confusing, as to why those leaders, use Hindi in the places like
Parliament. I hear Nepali is a regional language in India already. That
perplexes me as well. But I satisfy my curiosity and dissatisfaction
thinking that Spanish is the second official language in the US. And I
can see notices in the US government buildings and offices in at least
6 or 7 foreign languages. But I believe they still speak English in the
Senate and Congress. So, this will benefit in less protests and
roadblocks and arson in the roads, and save us many tires, otherwise
primarily used for transportation. If it does not stop, we will be the
second biggest importers of JK tires and Ceate tires, first being SriLanka. It still breaks my heart to see a father carrying his young son
home with plastered leg on his back when the spectators are busy
participation in a roadblock. Thank God, they did not burn tires!!



7. We call them, Dhoti, Madhisey, Marsyaa. And they call us Bahadur.
See the difference. They still feel threatened by us in name giving. I
still crack at this joke.


A vegetable man says along, " Aloo lei lo, pyaaz lei lo." And goes
about the neighborhood asking to sell his fresh merchandise. Then he
knocks in one Newar's house.


"Sahuni, aalo lei lo, pyaaz lei lo!"


Sahuni asks her son to go see who it is. "Swo su kha?" (see, who is it?)


The son hurries to the door, opens it, sees him and shuts the door and comes to his mom. Sahuni asks him,"Su kha?" (Who is it?)


The son replies nonchalantly," Suna makhu, marsyaa kha!" ( Nobody, it is just the Marysaa [Madhisey in KTM slang])


I hear one black teenager say to another, " Nigger, you fool to do that." The other black teenager laughs it off.


I again hear one white teenager say to another black teenager,"Nigger,
you fool to do that." ( in the same accent). Five minutes laters, I see
the white teenager limping on his way to the restroom, with bruises on
his face. (sure, I didnot see it, I made it up)!!


You get my point?



8. We already do that, don't we? :D



9. I hear and see petitions being signed about the illegal encroachment
of Nepalese borders. I hear people arguing about it. But what I do not
get it, what the f**k are these politicians doing about it. I have not
heard of anything. So, what can we do? We can take our "Mashaal Julus"
to the Indian part of the border, burn some tires, burn the Indian flag
and maybe some effigies, and plant our big Nepalese flag as a retort to
such shameful act. Only pray that they won't open fire on us. The US or
UN is not interested in Indo-Nepal border conflicts. They are busier in
other important things. Like monitoring the Iranian election closely
and debating whether they should invade Iran for their atrocious
people-killing response to the protests of the outcome of the election.
Or they are worried if N Korea becomes a nasty rogue nation and whether
they should put the mongrel of Kim down. They are already scratching
their heads for Iraqi invasion. So, they need to be extra careful this
time. No border, no conflicts, no tension!!



10. I hear times and again, Indian consultancies exploit Nepalese. Only
Nepalese are working for these consultancies? No other nationalities
work through them. I have no idea. But what I know for sure is, given
the picture, Nepalese are the small fraction of the workforce these
consultancies employ, Indians and other foerign graduates and workers
being the larger chunk. Still, they manage to exploit only Nepalese.
Well, that problem will soon be over.



Pheww...Those were many interesting benefits.I would love to discuss
the disadvantages too, but I am tired for now. Maybe next time :D!!



Now a word of advice for the Die-Hard Wolverine-esque Patriots:


Hard liners are what put people and nations in the misery. Everybody is
entitled to their opinion and views put across for a civil debate, in
order to gain a common solution. In my honest opinion, true patriots
are the one who ruin the country, but then, at the same time, true
patriots are the one who build the nation and economy and well-being.
They are the flip-side of the coin. It is only a matter of what you use
your patriotism in, being a Medusa or being a Midas. And if you do not
understand the allusion, I am sorry I, yet again, fail to put my views
across in more comprehensible manner. Take your pick, Medusa or Midas.
Either way, we are f***d, but lets decide how bad or how good we want
it to be.



 
Posted on 06-24-09 1:19 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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I dont have much to say, I find this pretty relevant and you guys should read this piece of humor, with due acknowledgement to the person who posted it originally

 
Once the sardar community held a very serious meeting. They were talking about how to develop Punjab.
Every one were very serious and the leader asked all of them to give their ideas on how to develop their community.
One of the sardar after thinking for a while gave his suggestion. 

He said, "let's attack america, and then they will defeat us and conquer us. Then we will become a part of america and we will become as developed as they are."
Everyone praised his wisdom and said it was brilliant idea. But one of the old wise sardar was still thinking about it.
He raised slowly and said, "It is a great idea. But we should not forget about other consequences as well."
Others didn't understand and asked him what he meant by that. He answered "What if we win."

 
Posted on 06-24-09 10:31 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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[This posting flagged as inappropriate]
 
Posted on 06-25-09 2:14 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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I was so scared that whatever feeling i had in my mind about union of Nepal and India is just me. deshbhaktanepali and mcmxc, you guys can count me in.


Skimmese would be in very pathetic position had they not been annexed by India. I dont hear Indian Police and Army ( from rest of the india) raping and killing skimmese. They are proud indians and yet genuine skimmese. They are more able to preserve their heritage now then they were when they were ruled by their king.


Being part of india is not same as being its colony. We become India's citizens.


People from places like Dolpa and Humla can finally see a motorized vechile in their lifetime plying in their districts. People like us who are among 'elite' Nepalese( using a computer itself make u an elite nepalese) can compete with the rest of the Indians on many oppurtunities India has to offer.


Nepalese can be proud of their country not just for sagarmatha and gautam buddha. BTW sagarmatha being located in nepalese border and buddha happen to born in lumbini doesnt make nepal great, right?


Disadvantages might happen to our netas who might come under central govt scrunity, some big media houses like Kantipur whose monopoly might end after india times start a new nepali paper, to big officers in police, army n nijamati for the same reason as for netas, to illicit and corrupted business like transporters who stop plying their vechile when govt decide to lower the fares, to 20 to 30-member ethnic party who have ability to do nepal-bandh by having a news-piece published in Kantipur.


and to the would be DV-Lottery winners( guess what?  u r dis qualified. LOL.the last one was only for fun)


We should have this debate going on in sajha. One Pakistani once said, "Guess how powerful India and Pakistan would be if they are not spending all their money in defending themselves from one another but creating a greater country keeping religion well aside. India-Pakistan re-union would harm only harliners on both sides but would benefit whole majority of commoners".


 


 
Posted on 06-25-09 4:21 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Great Ideas ! More benifits :-


1. You will not hesitate to say ,' tina , falam, bora bottle' in Nepal'


2. You don't need to say ' I work for Indian', like  Restaurants or Gas station's owned by Indians


3. You can be pround of ' Biggest democracry nation of the world ' you can feel to be beggars, magicians or even show up naked in the street, or you can carry stones with your manhood.


4. You can be a gang leader , and start looting, raping, robbery, murder ,  still people won't blame you ,  it must be Indians, they think.


5. Your 'chelibeti' won't be trafficed in Bombay Brothels anymore , Every ward of 75 districts will be awarded special red light areas.


Super ideas , aren't they ?


 
Posted on 06-26-09 11:52 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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What do you ( owner of this thread ) say i mean orignal poster ? of my ideas too .


 


Women and children traffic ma khan talasi badi hune gareko chha ajkal ., hajoor ko sapana sakaar vayo vanne , tesma pani thyo raahaat hunchha , ki kaso?


 
Posted on 06-26-09 11:56 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Guys at this instant you should be talking about this. Forget deshbhakta leave him alone.



 
Posted on 06-26-09 12:43 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Give this patriots 5 more years and they will be applying the INdian passport. If India takes over Nepal, i would be the happiest person on the earth, at least our poor brothers and sisters do not have to suffer. People are dying in Qatar, no one is able to do anything, i am sure there are people sleeping without food and you talk about nationality. Everyone says we should be ready to die for our country but the ones dying are so naive and innocent and they will never be respected for this death.


 


 


 
Posted on 06-26-09 3:25 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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 TomUncle...here are answers to your benefits:

1. You will not hesitate to say ,' tina , falam, bora bottle' in Nepal'


I agree...I will be more happy to collect garbage in my home country than wash dirty dishes in foreignland. Currently, I can't even do that in my motherland as I am ashamed of my prestige being shattered.



2. You don't need to say ' I work for Indian', like  Restaurants or Gas station's owned by Indians


I agree...atleast I will not worry about being accused of un-patriotic.



3. You can be pround of ' Biggest democracry nation of the world ' you can feel to be beggars, magicians or even show up naked in the street, or you can carry stones with your manhood.


I agree....atleast my government will be powerful enough to punish people who forces other to be nude in name of unethical behaviour (do you remember the lady who was forced to be nude around Ratna park...100 meter away from police chowki just a month ago) or forces other to eat crap in name of bokshi. (just read the news few days ago).



4. You can be a gang leader , and start looting, raping, robbery, murder ,  still people won't blame you ,  it must be Indians, they think.


I agree...it is just that they currently blame Maoist or YCL or Forum or Youth force.



5. Your 'chelibeti' won't be trafficed in Bombay Brothels anymore , Every ward of 75 districts will be awarded special red light areas.


As far as I know...it is not Indians who come to Nepal to buy those girls...it is people from our society...even father and mother of these girls are responsible for selling them. It is people from their own village who provoke them or lure them to such act.

Yes...I agree...you had some great ideas.

 


 
Posted on 06-26-09 4:08 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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This thread is a live example of how much influence India has over Nepal. Your name is "deshbhakta" and you are talking about dissolving "desh". Your name should have been "bideshbhakta", not "deshbhakta".


 
Posted on 06-26-09 4:15 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Thanks sojho...you are the first one to remind me that....again.
 
Posted on 06-26-09 4:58 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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I like this thread.


 
Posted on 06-28-09 8:24 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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desbhaktanepali ,


 


Good, I undersatand what you mean...! I just feel to drop my words as guys have taken your intentions differently and I wanted to know what you really mean.


Cheers


 


 
Posted on 06-28-09 8:50 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Wow....it seems Maoist have taken cRunch's above mentioned joke too seriously.


 


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