Looking back at past, I wonder myself what went wrong? I never thought we will wind up like this, and separate like this way that we do not want to see each other anymore. I never imagined we will hate each other this much.
It was a perfect relation. It may be was not as passionate as Romeo and Juliet or was not as romantic as Indian movies. But we were fit for each other. We had our own world and we were happy in it. I mean we were really happy, at least I was. The time we spent in the cold weather, I will never be able to forget. I was wearing sweater with heavy over coat and still shaking with cold and you, just in t-shirt and mini and looking fine. Sleeping by your side, when I woke up in the middle of night, you were looking at my face, playing with my hairs and kissing my forehead and lips. You said that you do not want to waste bit of time by sleeping. You were the one, used to stare my face all night long while I was sleeping.
You were not the first girl I dated, you were not the last one, and you were not the prettiest one too. But I can say that you were the one who I really fall for. You have some thing that left a deep impact in my heart. You are an intelligent girl. Matter fact you are really intelligent compare to any girl of your age. Your intellectual and passionate conversation may be the real attraction than anything else. The way you expressed yourself, your future plan, your helping nature, was that all fake? Were you just saying that to impress me? It was not just because I told you that I want to go Africa when I have my career to help the children there dying everyday.
You lied to me. You lied me about yourself, about your parent, and everything. Every single word came out of your mouth was nothing but a lie. The tears in your eyes, the cry in your heart, and the sadness in your face was all fake. I still want to believe on those teary eyes, sad face, and crying heart but I do not know how. You didn?t leave anything behind that I can believe about you. Do you still remember the first time you got drunk, according to you, and the first time you smoke? You were fighting for wine while you were already drunk and almost ready to pass out. I had to drawn it in sink. You got mad and you kicked my balls so bad that I almost knocked down in the carpet. Do you still remember me drinking wine from your belly bottom and you getting all excited? Getting up in the middle of night, dance in Goo Goo Doll song ?I just want you to know who I am.? Just you and me in our own world, in our birthday suit.
You betrayed me. I dump you. But I was the one who got hurt. Do you still remember the black guy in the street calling us King and Queen? When I looked your face that time you were all blushing, and shinning. Wow that was a good fake expression you had. Flunking classes, being away from friends, dying to get married. You really know how to act, you know how to lie, and you know how to hurt.
I do not mean you are all bad and I am all good. There have been many incidences that I had to be with you but I could not. I took many things for granted. I took you for granted. You were always with me all the hard time I was going through. I really thank you for that and will appreciate all my life. But the time has changed, things have been different. Now I can see small beam of light at the end of dark tunnel. I can see a lovely morning after the scary night of my life but you are not with me. You were with me at the dark time of my life and now it is getting brighter and I am all alone.

I agree with rythm. People always tend to say bad things when they are not together. In the beginning that significant other is the love of your life...how can that same person one day (after being broken up) be the person you hate the most. yes, things happen and in anger we all would like to say things that are bad and hurtful...but that's really not the way to go.
In order to move on, you have to accept the facts and it probably didn't work out for a reason. Everything at the end happens for a reason ..a good reason at that. so let it be....and move on. What you had will always be there.....learn from the mistakes and never regret that you once loved someone. It is after all a process...

I didnt create this thread to show some body bad. I didnt create it to show myself bad. It is just some crual past and some present which I have been and I am going through. I really appreciate all the suggestions and feelings from Bhangli Damini. She can really relate to other people. Relating to some body is not being philoshopher.

Hukka Nepali very lovely words. Specially the line "sometimes your past hunts you....sometimes you hunt it." That a real truth. But I could not agree with Rhythm here:"Ppl dont lie.. its the way u percieve things that make a difference." Rhythm may be you havent face those people yet. You may be living with your parents. But when you get into real world you will face those people. People do lie like hell. Again I am not saying all the time but when they lie that will affect other life substancially. AeutiKT nice analogy, " Everything at the end happens for a reason ..a good reason at that."

Bhangli Damini I am not sad anymore. I learn to take negative things and learn through them and change it into positive feelings. We all go through negative and positive side in our life. Now I feel myself strong person and can face anything. When I was in high School our Nepali teacher used to tell us "Gainda ra Galchheda le Jiwan Kharinchha." I think he is absolutely right.

Can I reply to you in this thread after ages?? Hope you dun mind.. hehe... When I said that people dun lie I din mean that they dun lie at all. I have almost never really lived with my parents (replying to the comment abt me living with them).. but anyway what I meant was, in a relationship when a person says that they love you and blah blah blah... later you feel like they were lying when they said that.. but it might be the truth at that time. Tara this time it is the way you percieve it... If you think that it was lie all along then you are not u nderstanding the scenario. Thats all!!