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 where is this going?

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Posted on 09-03-06 5:56 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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I am very serious here. I am not faking or making anything. I have been in relationship with a nice nepali girl for long time. Its been more than couple of years. we were totally devoted and committed to each other. we both are educated and mature. we even talked with our parents about each other and they were also very happy for both of us as we are from same caste too.

I will not write here how much i loved her and still do and what i did for her and everything. To make this story short, I just want to say this, i always gave her love, respected her, encouraged her, treated her as my best friend, my girl friend and my wife. we have spend time together as well, meaning cooking, grocery shopping, going out, washing dishes, and so many things.

I believe that she also loved me a lot. she took teej ko brata for me, prayed for my success, asked me to meet her parents and asked me to talk about marriage and i did that as well. Everythign was so perfect in my life.

My wonderful life suddenly changed few months ago when I learnt that my beloved girl is going out with some other guy. she cheated me. When i found out about this, i requested her to come back and asked her why she did this to me. she had no answer for that and she jsut tried to get away from me. since i had known her family and frined well, I called them to know if they know about anything related to this. Noone knew at that time. but irony is, she thought that i told everyone that she is cheating on me and dating some guy, but that was not the case. i never told anyone about that at that time. why would i do that when i treated her as my wife. This incident might have irritated her and she became closer with other guy and had physical relationship as well. I guess she did not think about anything at that time. she did not think about consequences.

After I knew she is cheating on me, i could not control myself and because of this I screwed up my semester. I screwed up so badly that I could not get over with this. That thing completely changed my career and I am no where now. I am struggling just to save my status. I am not explaining everything here but i went through a lot because of this. I am totally depressed and thought about so many bad things. Many bad things started to came in my mind.

I tried to forget her but could not do so. I still love her very much and I want her back. she knows this very well. we still talk to each other. Now she is saying that she just want to be friend with me and she does nt want to talk about love and marriage now. she does nt deny that she still love me and care about me. I dont know if she gonna come back to me or not. she has accepted her fault and she knows that she destroyed my life while whatever she is doing now is because of me. I did so much for her and she knows this.
she sometime says, she broke the promise she has given to me and slept with someone else so she can not come back to me. But i told her that please forget about that and just come back to me. I told her that do not compare my love and respect and our long relationship with one sex. I also want to say you one thing that we too slept together as well. For me, I really love her and want her back but i dont know what she is thinking. I still dont understand that is it because of guiltyness that she is hesitating to come back because she cheated on me or she really wants to go away from me. if she wants to go away from me, why she is still talking to me? I told her that i can not be friend with her. I told her that I can either be her husband/bf or no one. i can forgive her if she come back to me and say sorry but if she tries to be just friend with me, then i will say she used me and threw in trash.

I am expecting some comments from girls/women here. is it possible for a girl to come back after all this. I mean she had a good relationship with a nice guy and she cheated him even though he loved her so much and later he found out about this. she also slept with new guy. however the pld guy ( me) still wants her and love her as much as he used to. she knows that he loves her a lot. This is really killing me and i am really depressed. I want her back. I dont know how it gonna happen but i want this to happen. what should I do now?
 
Posted on 09-06-06 1:35 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Well then you are depressed, at least you admitted it. Now thats a start, just beware of that fact that you will be going to be in this funk for a while. The only prescription for you is TIME. It will heal once you give it enough of that TIME medication. But the only problem with us humans in this modern world is that we want to take that pill now and get it over with. It is not asperin, take it and headache is gone. he he
 
Posted on 09-06-06 1:37 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Look Number, how everyone has to say the same thing. so u need to believe what all those different ppl are advising u the same thing. The liberals, conservatives, SPAMERS, Royalists, Mandales, Maoists, writers, thinkers, carefuls, carelesses, and freaks they have all advised u the same thing, MOVE ON. So believe them, if u cant believe them or cant move on, quit posting stuff here. When u post things u force others to iterate the same stuff over and over and its getting kinda annoying here.

May God ( if he exists ) save u.
 
Posted on 09-06-06 1:55 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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I do go to gym and it does release my stress level. I spend a lot of time over there, which not only keeps my body fit also gives me good night sleep. no, i dont listen to sentimental songs. I dont listen to those and try to put myself in those character, thats not me. lets see, how it goes. I know its hard for me to forget, but no one can force to love someone. i did not force her to love me when we started. actually it was her who dragged me. If she really loves me she will come back if not i will assume she just used me. thats all. it hurts though.
 
Posted on 09-06-06 2:35 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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After going through the thread again, it seems to me that number is playing an attention seeking game here. No offence if you are really hurt, but it does not make sense for you and for us to post same stuffs again and again as somebody already pointed out.
 
Posted on 09-06-06 2:51 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Don, I am not seeking attention here. I actually posted this story to know how people react with it. I especially wanted to hear from women/girls as they might know better about women phychology and why my gf did this to me. When one has such a guy who loves her so much and gives her so much and treat her so well, why one would do this kind of disgusting act. I never got answer from her when i asked her about this.

she sometimes says she is really sorry and could not keep promise and she betrayed our relationship. on the otherhand she sometimes also says that she has no regret and she is not the only person in this world who did this and this is not a big deal. the two answer she gave me are really different and contradictory and her words and answers keep on changing with each and everyday.

I also wanted to know how big is the crime that she has made. is that crime forgivable? or is that a crime or not? what is her plan when she is saying she needs sometime and space to think about it after all this. is she just trying to get away from me and asking me for sometime and later will tell me that we can not be together anymore. this is why i wrote the headline as where is this going? where is her plan if there is any and I are going?

I have not talked about this to many people. Only two of my friends knows this. but no one knows that she slept with other guy except me, her, new guy and may be her family. I have not told this even to my closest friends. I wanted to make her wife and my parents wanted to be their daughter inlaw so in this situation how could i disclose such things. I posted here because no one knows me and her at the same time I can get the responses from different mind of different age group. Mind you, we both are in mid -late twenties. I wont call her immature and its not teeny weeny love.
 
Posted on 09-06-06 3:00 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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U want her back inur life? and want to marry her?
What if she does this thing (one night stand with that guy/someone else) again after marrying you,tell ??
 
Posted on 09-06-06 3:04 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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The way you have put up this case here, I have no other choice but to believe in you.

1) This is not a unique case, many others have gone through this. Of course, when it happens to you, it flails you the most.

2) How many times have you talked with her after this happened? Call her for a lunch or something and tell her everything that you have to say. Cry or make her cry or both. Let her know EXACTLY what this all means to you.

3) If she tries to divert, make excuses and don't feel for you, then FORGET HER DUDE, AND MOVE ON.

4) If she decides to come back, it's up to you to decide. You must be aware of her nature, behavious and tendencies. Just ask yourself, whether it's worth for you to accept her.

5) TIME is the greatest healer. It heals every wound no matter how perilious it seems now.

Does that make sense?
 
Posted on 09-06-06 3:04 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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cry all you want, wet your eyes, get depressed, and trust me one day u'll wake up not feeling much for her.

for everything else, there are ,,strip clubs lol.
 
Posted on 09-06-06 3:06 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Not to be rude but a 2 year old could know the psychology of this girl. She used you and has no interest in you. You are right now ingulfed in self pity because you cannot stand this happening to you. Your ego was wounded. A natural thing to happen! All people think that they are different and invincible and nothing bad can happen to them! (I forgot which psychologist believed this). But generally people dont predict the worse to happen to them. Though all people give u the same advice u are deaf to what they say. Advice cant reach you and suggestions dont affect you. The best thing to do.... go for a swim and look for another girl to hook up with!
 
Posted on 09-06-06 3:10 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Dumbass, everyone knows she slept with both of u now.
 
Posted on 09-06-06 3:27 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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and where is mr #
 
Posted on 09-06-06 3:29 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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they say, fix your self before fixing others or trying to handle the situation. but to fix yourself, you have to know what actually to fix...is it your brain? is it your ego that's stopping you from fixing yourself?
 
Posted on 09-06-06 3:32 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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damn this thread is looooooooong .................with the same stuff on and on.
 
Posted on 09-06-06 3:55 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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yeah move on... :-)

if she is wanting to be frens only then there is a reason for it. Even if the only reason she doesn't want to be more than frens with you is becoz she had relationship with other person..her guilt won't let the relationship move forward. It's better if u just moved on with life.
 
Posted on 09-06-06 4:07 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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number you are getting too annoying...everybody is giving you good advices and if you don't want to take the advices, what's wrong with you?? why you even want advice????
 
Posted on 09-06-06 5:30 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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ss74k, I did not say i did not like the advice or I wont take advice. I will definitely. I have to move on and I am trying my best, believe me. Like many said, time is a greatest healer, so may be after few months or years I will be perfect. I hope sooner than later.
 
Posted on 09-06-06 5:50 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Posted on 09-06-06 6:01 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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number
Lets break down this whole thing into simple facts (according to you story).

1 she told you that she loves you, slept with you (and cheated on you)
2 She told another guy that she loved him, slept with him (and cheated on him as well)
3 You want her back (even if she cheated you and the other guy as well)

It appears that she loved no one, neither you or the other guy.....

One thing I learned in my experience of going through relationships over the years is the fact that 'saying and actually doing it are two very different things. You are truely loved by someone when she/she actually does whatever she/she says(or said) or at least puts a sincere effort to live up to what she/he says(or said).'

Know that you are NOT LOVED at all when the words he/she do not match with what he/she does. AND it absolutely dumb idea to want to be with someone who never really loved you (unless you have sinister plans in your mind).
 
Posted on 09-06-06 6:06 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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thukka m@#ji number...
the best thing for u is to buy a nice strong rope and hang urself....... lachi m@3ji pani maruwa........
 
Posted on 09-06-06 10:20 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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she cries over the phone with me. she says she can not decide what to do. according to her, if she come back to me people might think she hung out with this new guy for few months and again went back to same guy and if she goes to the new guy people will say she just used me and left me. she cries a lot these days. i can not see her tears and that melts me easily. whatever all of you have said, i agree with you but what i realized is it is definitely easy to say but difficult to do. alright guys, thank you all for your input and suggestions. though it is very hard for me to listen to you all at this point, i have no better option than to try to forget her. Its already been few months and it is going no where. I need to focus on my career now. no more love and lover, i guess time will tell me what wil happen next.
 



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