I am a married man but I have been in relation with a girl for nearly 2 years and now i left her bcoz i am gonna have a baby soon. i dont understand myself i love my wife a lot but in another hand i love this girl too and we go on very well feels like i have spent the most exciting life with her in these 2 years.i share most with her than my wife doesnt mean that i dont love my wife. i just dont understand wot was happening to me but now i broke off with her just bcoz she said something nasty about my unborn baby. did i do right? well i think so bcoz this relation wasn't gonna work for long we both knew that.i am really missing her though i have said lots of nasty thing saying i will never see her again. What should i do.........HELP.......!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

since you already broke up with her....there is no point of going back. So, you should divorce your wife.

good luck.

Ya ..Leave your wife too.. you don't deserve her!!!as well as your keep!!!leave her as well.
You will be much happier.Good luck!

Pupiffy...i left the girl who i was seeing not my wife. Actually i dont want to leave both of them but i choose my wife and left the girl....

U were ,are basically cheating ur wife! I don't think u love ur wife, otherwise one wouldn't cheat like that! U are just afraid.All u think is about urself.How can u have a relationship for two years outside your marriage!! WHAT A JERK U ARE!
I feel sorry for your wife.U and that girl(I assume she knows about your wife) are just cheaters, samajik kira haru!!!U both deserve some punishments!!I feel sorry for your wife (and also her unborn baby )who during her pg needs a caring,loving husband by her side not a jerk who is missing somebody else and feeling lonely.

i agree

Thanks bideshi for ur comment...i know i cheated my wife but didnt know when and how all this happened well i know i am sorry for wot i have done but what should i do to sort things well.

well..my 2 cents..ur a man after all and the man whos having a baby soon..so focus on ur life with ur wife...and sing this song to ur gf,....peace:) no worries..u aint da one ..

there would be no divorce if there was no cheating and all..so u aint alone bro....take it easy but take care of ur child and go for the one who loves u truley...peace bro...

jus go wid da flow.....dont matter if u married or not...if u couldve stopped ur freaken heart you would have become God...since ur not...take it as a human...and sort it out....some suffer..some dont....be the one who dont...be strong...cuz i know these kinda sh^t/............be good tho...peace

I was just trying to analyze your situation. The main thing you should be clear is you can cheat anyone in the world but not yourself. So speak you yourself very transparently at first.

About your wife: You are just trying to continue the traditional bond with her. You want to be fine with your relatives because Nepalese culture wants to see you with your wife. In one way you are just using her but if you ask yourself from inside you are just having a formal relation with her. You love the upcoming child (who don’t like child in this world).

About your girl friend: You like her at present (Am not sure of future). It’s obviously fun to go around with a girl coz u have less commitments to her at present compared to your wife. It’s human nature to flow in lower way as water.

Major things to consider:
1. You wife is very sincere to you but you are not. It will be fair to let her know about your relation and broke with her rather than keeping her in dark. As I have mentioned earlier, you are using her to maintain a traditional bond in Nepalese culture.
2. You wife loves you as you are now. The girl loves you coz she has lesser commitments to you as of now as you have to her. If you formalize this relation later (after breaking the current relation); will you be equally have fun as you are having now?

If your answrer is YES to issue no. 2 - Then yes, divorce your wife and go with this girl. (dare to handle the intemiadiary stages)
If your answer is NO to isses no. 2 - be strong to break this relation with the girl. If possible explain the issue to your wife mention you lost your way in between and beg her forgiveness. Be a decent husband.

Last Suggetion: Look for sustainable solutions…rather than short term ones.

Well,in such scenerio,u should be ousted,but here the situation is different.Your wife is pregnant.If u think(?) u still love her,then try to be by her side,help her in this pregnancy.A woman has to go thru a lot during her pregnancy.I'm sure during such moment, no woman wants any other stress in her life specially about her husband's extra marital affair or how he is still missing her or how much confused is he!
Love definitely helps one to forget all the woes.So,focuss on your love which u say is your wife(?).Don't go after the other girl.She is a family breaker.(Obviously u r more jerk than her).U have mentioned that the other girl said something bad about your unborn baby!How can anybody say baby stuff to the babies? They r so pure,innocent,lovable ,huggable and what not?and besides your baby is not even born!!!!!!!!!She is a cheap slut.

Well..........try to help your wife in her pregnancy,it's your baby too.Even after all those,once your baby is born,u still want to be with the other girl,then you don't deserve your wife.Divorce her.I'm sure she will be happy to get rid of the jerk who cheated her and still love the other girl.But if u don't feel miserable and sad but more happy,stress free with your wife then that's good.I don't think she needs to hear your love story.She has more responsibility in her life once her baby is born so do u.Just take it as a nightmare ,forget about it and move on.

Just my two cents opinion!
K garne ?keti pariyo,nari haru lai cheat bhayeko,dhoka bhayeko,dukhha pareko sahanai sakdina!!Ahem ahem!

No one can suggest you on what to do. Since you already admitted your guilt...Now just prove it to yourself that you can in fact be faithful to your wife and your kids from here on out....

BTW, I find it ironic that you say you love/loved ur wife, and still had an extra-marital affair....Something does not make sense to me....Since you have already dumped ur so called girlfriend, its time for you to prove urself that you indeed love your wife and the kids.......If that does not help, try being the guy whose wife left him for another guy, and see how it feels...!

Sorry for typos:

Bad stuff not baby stuff

simple as that,,that it's normal human tendency to feel like having dubai haat ma laddu

but in real life it does not work that way,,u woud not want yur wife to be in a similar situatuion i guess and posting a thread,," Me, husband and Him",..anyway dont be surprised if u ever find yurself in another situation that u find yurself posting,,Me, my wife , her (1), her (2),,her (x^x)..does not mean that all the nice women cud be ur wife

i would like to thank sajha and everyone who have given their comments to help me out to deal with my situation.
yes i know i have made a serious mistake i admit that but only the thing is i am not having peace of mind since i have cheated her. i have made my mind that i will be with my wife and next to my baby no matter what situation i go through and try to forget those 2 years as a bad dream.
everyone who have made comments Thanks once again,i feel so much better now, am glad that SAJHA is there to express ur feeling if u cant say to anyone. felt like sajha as a family now. this was my first posting to sajha and its the BEST..... THANKS TO ALL.....

Congrats! Mabf
I wish u good luck. " man makes mistake and foolish repeat them"
Take good care of you, ur loving wife and the baby who takes you out of the blue.

Well few lines does not explains everything but this is what I want to share. Shit happens, no one is perfect and Sijupanta "man makes mistake and foolish repeat them". As Bideshi mentioned that woman goes through such a stressful time while they are pregnant so you should not add any more on to that.

If you broke up with your mistress then you must stick to that. Do not go around looking for trouble.
Think about how many people are involved with you, your wife and new unborn baby i.e. You, your wife, your baby, your parents, her parents, many more realatives and also the society. Now think about going with your mistress or your GF and here I think you and your mistress only. If you go with your GF then you on your own leaving so many people hurt.

Give yourself time, your memories will fade her(your GF) out. Involve with your wife. Give her more time, I think she deserve that, after all you are going to spend your life with her.

You do not need to listen to me or anyone from this thread. But do not forget to use your own conscious mind.

Good luck
WoC

God Bless You All.......cant stop tears in my eyes after reading all the comments over and over ...................

mabf,

watch a movie called "last kiss". most of these "intelligent" (self-proclaimed) will only pull your leg. the movie sums up your situation and might give you some clue as to what you should do.
Great movie and funny too