I had first arrived in the land of oppurtunities on 1993. My mom was a nurse in NY and my dad was studying to earn a speacialization in the glaucoma surgery. When I got down in the airport my mom and dad were standing there with the biggest teddy bear I had ever laid eyes on. They gave me this chewing gum which was actually spicy. Wow.. USA sure was different. I joined school and became one of the most unique students as I was the only Nepali on the third grade. Oh how I loved the US. It had soon become my home, how great everyone was and how they were interested on me. Well days turned to months and months turned to years. It was two years and my dad had completed his specialization and was going to Japan for further specialization. So my parents sent me to Nepal for the time being so that while they go to Japan me and my brother could spend time with our grandparents. That sure was exciting, and off we went to nepal. After completing all his specialization, my dad had a certain urge to serve his own country. So my parents were to return to Nepal, and I was happy to be seeing them again. But I missed the states like crazy. My teachers in Nepal were no way compared to the ones in state.. they did not give me warm hugs, instead they pinched and hit me. My dreamland.. USA.. i was sure to come back one day and that was it. In the year 2003 I got the visa as an F-1 student to come to the US again. How excited I was, i could actually live out my dreams!! Many people had warned me that US people were selfish and had high views only about themselves, but how could that be possible. So here I was back again. Only it seemed different, did US change or was it me? Well, it really did not matter. I was all excited but slowly I started to miss Nepal and well US wasnt the same anymore.. Slowly I started becoming interested on Political matters and what I saw astounded me. Being in this Political Science class I had to have discussions now and then.. and the views of my peers were well.. not what I expected. Ok.. I admit it, my country really doesnt have a lot of human rights and well it is getting more violent as I am typing this, but does this mean I am inferior to these ppl i am discussing with? Our topic turned to 3rd world countries and democracy. They thought dmocracy was the answer to all world problems, which of course I had doubt abt so I said " My country is a democracy but before it was democratic......." "It was really violent i guess!" came the reply from my peer. I felt uneasy and said "well that wasnt my point, our country is(was) known to be peaceful you know" and they are like oh ok.. (whateva!!). "Most of the third world countries are violent you know" they said so the discussion went on. One of my peers also said "Well we also had to fight and kill the Indians to get our land" mm... oops!! I thought that it was the other way round.wasnt it the Indians' land?. I thought that they had conquered the land from the natives.. So the discussion went on.. Things started going on to how Asian countries have had a history of violence.. of course and Nepal is not excluded and so on... well after some time I got a bit heated.. so I started telling them my views. I gave them points such as instead of sending military force to the states they are "saving" from their "dictators" some other aids such as medical aid could be given. guess what they said "what would be the use of giving them aid if we did not get any benefits in return!" BINGO.. so this is what it was all about,.. the global game of benefits and power. When USA was celebrating its 100 Birthday.. it was killing 1000s of Natives. Can we call it the same genocide that they are "fighting" against now? Guess the mention of it in my class would arouse angered looks.. These people who dont know their own history were accusing my country's history, these people who were killing thousands of innocents were calling my country aggressive and themselves "the savior". These people who are always bringing their culture in between and are hinting me to convert are saying my culture is too narrow minded. What was going on? Wasnt this the same 'land of oppurtunities' I had so wanted to come to? What about my childhood memories. Slowly the answer came to me... It was not this place I had wanted to be in it was the time.. the time when everything had seemed perfect. I was looking at the world with the innocent eyes of a 9 year old... but now I know the reality.. I had not come to the great savior.. I had voluntarily stepped into the hands of the mass destroyer!!