I found this on another board and it cracked me up. I thought y'all might enjoy it. It has been brought to my chaste attention that ESPN?s College Game Day will be on our campus this Saturday. I understand that a lot of you are going to wake up early and drive to Auburn to watch the show live. If I were you I would just sleep late and not worry about the ESPN goons. I?ve seen jackasses on TV and in person, there is no difference. Not to mention campus is going to be crawling with Georgia fans. And I don?t want to offend Georgia fans, because they will hump your leg and s#!% in your yard, but the less I see of them the better. That being said, if you are still worried that you will miss something monumental by not watching Game Day in person, take a look at the script for this week?s show. Game Day Script: November 13th, 2004 Chris Fowler: Welcome to the loveliest village on the plain, Auburn, Alabama. This is ESPN?s Game Day, brought to you by the Home Depot. We have been avoiding coming to Auburn for years, because Pat Dye has threatened to shoot Lee Corso. However, today?s game between the Tigers and the Georgia Bulldogs is too big for us to ignore. Two years ago in Jordan-Hare, Georgia captured the SEC?s Eastern Division with a forth and fifteen pass from David Green to Michael Johnson. For those of you who have not seen the play, take a look at this excruciatingly slow replay. *excruciatingly slow replay plays* Kirk Herbstreit: That replay never gets old, and neither does all the sex I get from star struck college girls. Lee Corso: Your chubby leftovers are not bad either. Can we see that replay again? Fowler: Maybe later, but now we are going to take a look at one of college football?s most touching stories. Most people do not know this, but David Pollock and David Greene have been friends since the Nixon administration. Growing up in Snellville, Georgia, Greene and Pollack forged a special bond, similar to that of Siegfried and Roy. And even though neither of them has been mauled by an albino tiger, they make magic on and off the gridiron. Take a look at this heartwarming and mildly erotic special. *mildly erotic video plays* Herbstreit: Truly amazing story. And what?s more amazing is the fact that David Greene?s parents are Auburn graduates, and Greene grew up wanting to play for Auburn. How could Auburn have let this kid slip away? I?m so attractive. Corso: Even more amazing is that David Pollack is the love-child of Liberace and Nadia Comaneci. Fowler: Nadia still haunts my dreams. Now let?s turn to our friend Rocket Ismail for this weeks edition of Prep To Pro Rocket: I know we in Auburn today man, but we gonna be looking at David Pollack today man. Dis boy gotta motor dat won?t quit man. He is just like the Pope, cause da Pope is old, but his motor ain?t quittin man. Look at dis video of big David skippin off da field. Now compare dis video of da Pope, blessin dem souls! Their motors don?t quit man! Back to you Chris. *Crowd Boos* Fowler: Thanks Rocket, God-awful as always. Now it is time for predictions. Today?s game is monumental for Auburn, and I hope they come out tight. Georgia should be loose and ready to play. Let?s get our expert?s picks, starting Bubba Sparxxx. *Crowd Boos* Sparxxx: This is Bubba?s moment, I put my momma on it. Bought a ring off eBay and you know I?m gonna flaunt it. Dawgs in a rout, my sister has the gout. If Pollacks in the closet then you know he?s coming out. *Crowd Boos* Herbstreit: I think the key to today?s match-up is simple, quarterback play. Look for Chris Rix to lead Georgia to a big road win on his way to capturing the Heisman Trophy. If you need me I?ll be at the Phi-Mu dorm. *Phi Mu's Cheer, Rest of Crowd Boos* Corso: Not so fast my friend. Auburn??.is the home team. And because applause makes me feel loved, I am going to pick them. *Crowd Boos* Pat Dye: Hey Corso, get off my stage you stupid son of a b!$%@ *Gunshots, Crowd Cheers* Go Auburn!!