Bhinaju, Nice Haiku! The upper 2 lines are sufficient in my view. रक्सि चुरोट नखा भन्थ्यो ni Hai बुढा पाकाले धुम्रपानमा तक्मा पायो lau हाम्रो काकाले le chef du nuit , Originally Haikus are short poems with three lines and with 5 letters in the first line, 7 letters in the second line and 5 letters in the 3rd line. When it extended to other countries from Japan it slightly changed. In English they may not strictly follow the rule of 5-7-5. In case of Nepal we have Muktaks that resembles with Haiku (Of course but not the same). If you sing this song short and short form like a Haiku, It resembles with Haiku. Obviuosly it doesn't follow the rule of 5-7-5.