No way, If everything what you said is true, which I believe it is, then you are awesome! I sometimes wonder how lucky I am. Btw, you sure will be happy to look back at your past and pat yourself for a job well done. (Of course, you could have done better.) To maintain one?s self on this land is a hardship or a pastime??I sometimes wonder which one makes more sense. It is always comforting to feel that you will succeed when you work hard, but that will not always be the case. Although how I wish my life in this world were just a pastime, I can?t take assume so in this materialistic world. Anyway, I am not an escapist; I do believe in struggle and hard work.