Posted by: harkhe7 December 1, 2015
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@MlnNpl Thank you for your comment. At least you have also realized that the generation gap in our culture is increasing and the communication between different generation is in decline. That's the whole point of this article to recognize this problem and find a solution together to provide a better platform for our younger generation to express their ideas freely. The landscape of economy has changed. It is the age of intellectual properties. Today ideas sell. If we want our kids to grow to be a global leader, an entrepreneur or pioneer, then it becomes essential to recognize a problem, analyze it and then only you can come up with solutions. Hence, communication and sharing of ideas, information become critical.
The problem may or may not lie in the word "Uncle". However, I believe that our feelings and psychology dictate our behavior. So lets dissect this "Uncle" situation from the psychology and emotional point of view of a child. Hypothetically, I am a 9 year old boy. I am really close to my father's brother. He lives close to us, and he visits us frequently. We hang out a lot. He brings me gifts and we go out to eat and stuff. I call him "Uncle". One day my dad's friend that I have never met before comes over to our house. Dad asks me to say namaskar to uncle. I say namaskar uncle to this stranger. I am excited to have a new uncle because I really like my dad's brother. I expect this stranger uncle to treat me like my dad's brother treats me because he is also uncle. Dad knows that it is not fair for me to expect same treatment from his friend because he knows that he is not his brother. He tells me "gyaani manche thulo manche lai dukha dinu hundaina". I can't figure out why this new uncle is not treating me like my other uncle. I keep my mouth shut but I am angry and confused. It will just continue to make me bitter when I meet a stranger uncle. All these emotions just bottles up inside me until I fully understand "uncle" is just a word that we use to address people who are older than us in age.
If my dad thinks that he needs to explain me why it was not fair of me to expect the same treatment from his friend that I get from his brother, he comes to me to explain the situation. He tells me that there is difference between his brother and his friend even though I call both of them uncle. There are different boundaries. His friend is more like a uncle due to age, but not my uncle in real. I ask him, then why do I call him uncle? He tells me it is a culture and we respect our elders. What I understand from this is that he is uncle but not really, so he is a fake uncle. I don't believe in the system anymore. Next time whenever I meet older people, I just say namaskar uncle and ignore them because they are fake to me. Thanks dad that really helps!
The problem may or may not lie in the word "Uncle". However, I believe that our feelings and psychology dictate our behavior. So lets dissect this "Uncle" situation from the psychology and emotional point of view of a child. Hypothetically, I am a 9 year old boy. I am really close to my father's brother. He lives close to us, and he visits us frequently. We hang out a lot. He brings me gifts and we go out to eat and stuff. I call him "Uncle". One day my dad's friend that I have never met before comes over to our house. Dad asks me to say namaskar to uncle. I say namaskar uncle to this stranger. I am excited to have a new uncle because I really like my dad's brother. I expect this stranger uncle to treat me like my dad's brother treats me because he is also uncle. Dad knows that it is not fair for me to expect same treatment from his friend because he knows that he is not his brother. He tells me "gyaani manche thulo manche lai dukha dinu hundaina". I can't figure out why this new uncle is not treating me like my other uncle. I keep my mouth shut but I am angry and confused. It will just continue to make me bitter when I meet a stranger uncle. All these emotions just bottles up inside me until I fully understand "uncle" is just a word that we use to address people who are older than us in age.
If my dad thinks that he needs to explain me why it was not fair of me to expect the same treatment from his friend that I get from his brother, he comes to me to explain the situation. He tells me that there is difference between his brother and his friend even though I call both of them uncle. There are different boundaries. His friend is more like a uncle due to age, but not my uncle in real. I ask him, then why do I call him uncle? He tells me it is a culture and we respect our elders. What I understand from this is that he is uncle but not really, so he is a fake uncle. I don't believe in the system anymore. Next time whenever I meet older people, I just say namaskar uncle and ignore them because they are fake to me. Thanks dad that really helps!
It is not about me anymore. I am at the age now that calling uncle to a strange older man in age is no different than calling him "Ram" for me. I have no expectation from him because I have better understanding of the world and the human nature through my experience now over the years. And, I understand that treating all the people in village as family members in the past might had some advantages when it came to security and help to work in the fields. But I think that it is time for us to understand the time has changed, and with time the economic and social system have changed.
Last edited: 01-Dec-15 07:55 PM