1. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: 'Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to the man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."

2. I went to the zoo the other day. There was only a dog in it - it was a shihtzu.

3. Dyslexic man walks into a bra.