hahaha good one...ok here is one, found somwhere in the websites..i dont know who is it written by to give the credits too..tho.. * If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman If you don't, you are not a man * If you praise her, she thinks you are lying If you don't, you are good for nothing * If you agree to all her likes, you are a wimp If you don't, you are not understanding * If you visit her often, she thinks it is boring If you don't, she accuses you of double-crossing * If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy If you don't, you are a dull boy * If you are jealous, she says it's bad If you aren't, she thinks you do not love her * If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her If you don't, she thinks you do not like her * If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait If she is late, she says that's a girl's way * If you visit another man, you're not putting in "quality time" If she is visited by another woman, "oh it's natural, we are girls" * If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold If you kiss her often, she yells that you are taking advantage * If you stare at another woman, she accuses you of flirting If she is stared by other men, she says that they are just admiring * If you talk, she wants you to listen If you listen, she wants you to talk