Posted by: Vivant December 22, 2012
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Here's my story, Freedom2012, said in the spirit of openess and humility:
For me the decision to return to Nepal came down to what kind of life I wanted to live. I had a well-paying job, decent savings and owned a nice place in the US. I graduated with a degree in computers and worked in pretty reputable firms in the industry for ten years. But life was dull, boring and lonely.
I got exasperated with the general work culture in the US. I worked mostly with IT and Finance teams but I did not make very many friends at work. My Linked In profile showed a long list of connections but those were shallow work relationships that I did not find very meaningful. I realized I always was a big picture kind of guy whereas many of the people I worked with were very different - far removed from the great questions of life with priorities very different from mine. Many were more concerned about the next football game than the role of democracy or the balance of power in the world. Maybe Finance and Accounting don't attract the best and brightest of Americans - most of my colleagues knew little about the rest of the world, were very focussed on trivial things like drinking and partying and sports and I could not connect to their cultural references and frame of mind. I guess I was no American and realized I did not want to be one. I found the general work culture too incriminating and society's general values too individualistic and shallow.
That's not too say everyone in Nepal is high-minded. But I don't have the same pressing need to make friends at work here. I have plenty of my family around and maintain close relationships with many childhood friends here. Here, people have time for me or make time for me. In fact, it has been a lot easier to get others to make time for me. In the US, I was a nobody, just another techie that people made all kinds of assumptions about based on my resume and probably my looks. To them I was no different from the engineer from a village in Andhra Pradesh who spoke English with a thick South Indian accent. It sometimes felt the US, particularly the power centers of the east coast, had the highest number of stuck-up people per-capita in the world. There I sought kindness from others and sometimes even approval for some of the things I did. Here I live with a generally supportive family and don't care too much about too many others. There if the person taking the order for my chicken bowl at Chipotle did not smile at me, I wondered if it was because I looked different. Here if I dont like the way the waiter talks to me, I can tell him on his face and probably get the manager to come and apologize to me. Here I am a first class citizen who can make demands. In the US it didn't take much to feel like a second class citizen. This Tihar I decorated my house with pretty lights. If I did that in the US, I would have half the neighborhood wondering what I was doing or some wisecrack asking if it was early Christmas. This Dasain I walked around with tika on my forehead and jamara on my ears. I know many Nepalese in the US who want to do that but can't or don't do it because they are either too embarassed about their culture or because they dont want to explain themselbes to others.
Simply put, I feel a sense of belonging here. Frankly, I felt no sense of belonging to the US. The rules were too rigid and society was too regimental. That's not to say Nepal doesn't have it's problems. Sure, people drive badly here but in all this chaos there is a strange sense of order. You just need to learn how to drive here and how things work here. That's easier to do in a place where you have roots. People here can sometimes be a bit disordely by Western standards when standing in line but unless you are at the airport in the midst of migrant workers, people elsewhere in the country are plenty polite and respectful of personal space here too. And many of those poor migrant workers in airport lines are usually panic stricken and nervous anyway - that is not their normal behaviour when they are calmer. The dust and the dirt don't bother me as much any more. Except for when grabage pickup is delayed because of a holiday, strike or dumping site dispute, things in that realm are not that bad. The Kathmandu road expansion project has caused some short-term pain but most people put up with it because of the long term gain of wider roads and increased property prices. I love the food, the people and the culture here - they more than makeup for Nepal's other short-comings.
Yes, there is plenty wrong with Nepal, as some have allued to - I dont deny that- but there are enough things that are right about this place that life here can be quite good in its own way. I returned to Nepal last year and life has had it's ups and downs but I have liked it for the most part. I do business with Americans, Europeans and Indians as the Nepali owner of a Nepali company. Being a foreign business partner to an American company has been a lot more fulfilling than being a minority immigrant worker in America. It's a much more equal relationship.
Good luck to you Freedom2012 in making your decision. I wish you the very best.
Regards.
For me the decision to return to Nepal came down to what kind of life I wanted to live. I had a well-paying job, decent savings and owned a nice place in the US. I graduated with a degree in computers and worked in pretty reputable firms in the industry for ten years. But life was dull, boring and lonely.
I got exasperated with the general work culture in the US. I worked mostly with IT and Finance teams but I did not make very many friends at work. My Linked In profile showed a long list of connections but those were shallow work relationships that I did not find very meaningful. I realized I always was a big picture kind of guy whereas many of the people I worked with were very different - far removed from the great questions of life with priorities very different from mine. Many were more concerned about the next football game than the role of democracy or the balance of power in the world. Maybe Finance and Accounting don't attract the best and brightest of Americans - most of my colleagues knew little about the rest of the world, were very focussed on trivial things like drinking and partying and sports and I could not connect to their cultural references and frame of mind. I guess I was no American and realized I did not want to be one. I found the general work culture too incriminating and society's general values too individualistic and shallow.
That's not too say everyone in Nepal is high-minded. But I don't have the same pressing need to make friends at work here. I have plenty of my family around and maintain close relationships with many childhood friends here. Here, people have time for me or make time for me. In fact, it has been a lot easier to get others to make time for me. In the US, I was a nobody, just another techie that people made all kinds of assumptions about based on my resume and probably my looks. To them I was no different from the engineer from a village in Andhra Pradesh who spoke English with a thick South Indian accent. It sometimes felt the US, particularly the power centers of the east coast, had the highest number of stuck-up people per-capita in the world. There I sought kindness from others and sometimes even approval for some of the things I did. Here I live with a generally supportive family and don't care too much about too many others. There if the person taking the order for my chicken bowl at Chipotle did not smile at me, I wondered if it was because I looked different. Here if I dont like the way the waiter talks to me, I can tell him on his face and probably get the manager to come and apologize to me. Here I am a first class citizen who can make demands. In the US it didn't take much to feel like a second class citizen. This Tihar I decorated my house with pretty lights. If I did that in the US, I would have half the neighborhood wondering what I was doing or some wisecrack asking if it was early Christmas. This Dasain I walked around with tika on my forehead and jamara on my ears. I know many Nepalese in the US who want to do that but can't or don't do it because they are either too embarassed about their culture or because they dont want to explain themselbes to others.
Simply put, I feel a sense of belonging here. Frankly, I felt no sense of belonging to the US. The rules were too rigid and society was too regimental. That's not to say Nepal doesn't have it's problems. Sure, people drive badly here but in all this chaos there is a strange sense of order. You just need to learn how to drive here and how things work here. That's easier to do in a place where you have roots. People here can sometimes be a bit disordely by Western standards when standing in line but unless you are at the airport in the midst of migrant workers, people elsewhere in the country are plenty polite and respectful of personal space here too. And many of those poor migrant workers in airport lines are usually panic stricken and nervous anyway - that is not their normal behaviour when they are calmer. The dust and the dirt don't bother me as much any more. Except for when grabage pickup is delayed because of a holiday, strike or dumping site dispute, things in that realm are not that bad. The Kathmandu road expansion project has caused some short-term pain but most people put up with it because of the long term gain of wider roads and increased property prices. I love the food, the people and the culture here - they more than makeup for Nepal's other short-comings.
Yes, there is plenty wrong with Nepal, as some have allued to - I dont deny that- but there are enough things that are right about this place that life here can be quite good in its own way. I returned to Nepal last year and life has had it's ups and downs but I have liked it for the most part. I do business with Americans, Europeans and Indians as the Nepali owner of a Nepali company. Being a foreign business partner to an American company has been a lot more fulfilling than being a minority immigrant worker in America. It's a much more equal relationship.
Good luck to you Freedom2012 in making your decision. I wish you the very best.
Regards.