I'm surprised that you actually called his insurance company. In case of an accident, the first thing you do is, jot down the culprit's insurance info and call your company (and take pics) and your insurance company will go after the guy's insurance company. 

In any case, your car needs to be assessed by some inspector (from the insurance company). You can take it to some autobody shop and take a quote, and then ask the insuanrance company to send you a check. I believe it's illegal for your insurance company to deny such request. 

Re: Mental trauma, I'm not sure if insurance will cover monetary amount for it. You could try suing the guy or his insurance company.