Posted by: behoove_me August 22, 2012
Issues with Nepali programs
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I was a master of ceremony during Nepalese New Year in a certain university twice in a row where there were a slew of programs MADE TO ENTERTAIN THE AMERICAN AND OTHER ETHNIC CROWD. So I am listing few things I observed (I know I am going to receive flaks for calling some popular band names, but that's okay). Also I have observed these types of programs are executed with little quality and effort ONLY to ensure they had to host such programs. But I am not stereotyping, there are programs hosted very well, but in minority.

1. Most of the song sung by 'guitar heroes' (the euphemism for people who play mediocre guitar and consider themselves 'heroes') were modern day Nepalese songs sung by Jim Morrison and Eddie Vedder wannabes. 1974 AD and Ayurveda do not reflect Nepali culture and music when 75% of the foreign crowd wants to listen to jhaure/folk songs. As a result, the only group that enjoyed it was our very own Nepalese crowd.

2. Someone said right about time, one of the performers was so busy ironing her 'fariya' at home, we had to postpone her program to the very end.

3. Kids ran berserk, tripped, fell, cried, whined, screamed while their parents were busy clapping on 'Yo Man ta Mero.....'

4. One guitar hero said something in 'Axl Rose estyle' and no one understood. Oh, and it was in English.

5. The mike didn't work four times.

6. The MC (which was me) was asked to read a page about the glamor of rhododendron. I felt violated and spoke only 25% of what was written.

7. None of the pictures came out good.

8. One participant fought with the other and threatened to boycott his 'item number'

9. There were no skits. Only Nepali movie songs where people danced and some 'guitar heroes' songs.

10. Some performers danced first time in their lifetime on that very day after a half hour rehearsal. I swear I can gyrate my hips better even when I am in a meeting at work.

11. One elderly 'white' gentleman was at the verge of crying when the program had major interruptions and never seemed to end.

12. The Indian restaurant food was odered from fell short in matter paneer and we had to take off that 'item' halfway during buffet.

13. The 'speech' from the president of Nepalese association was so inaudble, even Nepalese student yawned.

14. The projector powered off several times 'automatically' causing pandemonium.

15. The speakers were so high on bass, none of the songs 'guitar heroes' sang was audible. One child shut his ears and cried.

16. The invitees who attended the program in 2011 never returned, we had a fresh slug of new 'foriegn' invites ready for aggravation this year.

17. On the last song, most of the student came in front of the stage and danced on the song completely blocking the view from the people seated in front seat. Believe me, the program was not anywhere to being mediocre, let alone great, that 'last dance' was unnecessary.

18. Three performers couldn't play guitar without drinking, they later argued over something.

19. Guitar heroes congratulated one another in the group saying 'kasto ramro bhayo hagi' sadly none of the audiences did.

20. After the program was over and I was driving home. I asked myself ths question each year 'what the f#*k just happened?'
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