? 
'Just.'
He called the girl and told her that I was interested in dancing with her.
'Yaspal, can I dance with him?’ she asked a guy who was dancing with another Indian-looking girl. Presumably she came with them. I didn't know what to do. But I was sure the guy would look at me. Before he turned to me I looked on the other side and softly tapped my toes in tune with the beat so as not to look like a pervert. It was weird. A little piece of me died inside.
'Which part of India are you from?' she asked me in a fluent but thick Indian accent.
'The part that was not ruled by the British,’ I quipped with a wry smile. 'Actually, I am from Nepal.'
The couples were dancing intimately and were getting closer to us.
'Sorry! I thought you were an Indian too. I’ll dance with you but only in Indian style...not American style.’ And in the same breath she added, 'they are boyfriend and girlfriend.’ She went on 'It's just been a month that I came from India to work for AT&T.'
I could understand her apprehension. I politely declined. 'Sorry for the confusion. I don't feel like dancing. And I don't even know that guy. Also, I didn't say anything to him.'
'That's ok.' Holding her cell phone she continued, ‘If you have a facebook account, add me. My name is Subeena Kaur and my email is subeena.kaur976@yahoo.co.in'
The DJ played an English song with heavy Bhangra beats. Before I could say anything she joined her friends and they all formed a line, and a typical Bhangra dance ensued. A guy came near me and held my hand and raised it in motion of dancing. I tried to copy. It was a half-assed attempt with hands flailing like a child throwing a hissy fit. I failed miserably. The self loathing kicked in as an automatic response. Slowly I backed out and turned. Aji was behind me holding drinks on his both hands.
'Grand Marnier,’ he offered a glass to me. Actually I only knew of that drink from him.
I downed the whole drink in a go to gulp down the perceived failure. My face twitched due to the burning sensation from the liquor.
'That was a double.' He repeated 'double and neat.'
Although I hadn't drunk much, I started getting queasy. I dashed towards the restroom thinking of an impending danger. I held my right hand against the stall, the other hand on my waist and bent my head a little bit.
Here comes the Sam
Two can Sam
You go girl!
Slowly the feeling subsided. No trade was made however. I looked pale in the mirror. After I washed my face, the bathroom attendant passed me some paper towels. I wiped my face and pulled out my wallet. There was a single twenty dollar bill and a quarter stuck in the corner. I didn't want to throw a quarter to the tip box because no one tips just a quarter. And no, I didn't put the twenty either.
'Sorry buddy. I don't have any cash with me.'
'Not a problem sir.'
I went back inside. Asked for two Coronas at the mini-bar. The guy couldn't pull my tab that was open on the other side. I had to pay with another card.
'Do you want to keep it open?’ asked the bartender.
'Yes please.'
I looked around for Aji but he was nowhere to be seen. I put his drink on a table. A young girl who looked quite drunk approached me and spoke to me in Spanish.
Press uno for Americano. Two for Spanish. 'No habla espanol. Only pokito!'
She pulled a chair and cozied herself up and with a fleeting glace on the drink said, 'You look like a Hispanic.'
'I get that often...Take this drink. My friend is not drinking.'
'You sure?'
'Yes.'
She took the drink, pushed the chair behind, and came a little closer to me and asked if I would like to dance with her.
'No. Thanks.’ I knew she meant the 'American way.' I just wanted to be alone.
'I'll be around if you decide to change your mind.’ And she walked towards the floor.
I saw Aji coming out of the patio. I went to the bar again and bought two shots of SoCo lime with the twenty dollar bill and handed him one. After downing the drink, I suddenly had a strong urge to smoke. I went out and bummed a cigarette for a dollar.
The cigarette had a multiplier effect. It started getting uneasy again. I wanted to go home and sleep. I went back inside. Aji was watching some guys play pool.
'Let's go Aji.'
'Ok as you say boss.'
'Hold on. I'll be back in a minute.'
I went inside the restroom. Fished a dollar from my pocket and dropped in the tips jar. The steward was not there.
Aji was at the mini bar with two shots of transparent drink. 'You chicken ! Take this shot of vodka.'
I drank it without doing the customary 'Cheers.'
'Take it easy brother!'
'Chicken who?' I turned to the bartender and asked for the double of the same drink.
We both closed our tabs in the mini-bar and staggered towards the parking lot. I was totally drunk due to assorted drinks.
'Look! The cars are still there. I told you not to be worried...don't you people own more than half of motels and gas stations in the US? Most probably one of your uncles owns this motel too.' Aji chortled and it echoed throughout the parking lot. Lately he understands the distinction between Indians and Nepalis but he just pretends not to know as it gives him a bigger board to throw his dart. Well, it's a fair game- I have entire Arab region to mock him.
'Yup. The said uncle is really smart in not building a tall motel. Everyone knows you people love tall buildings like no other thing in the world. Well, the camel may come close,’ I impulsively retorted but with a little chuckle so as not to sound racist. Knowing me he understood I meant no malice.
'Right on brother. You know what..Did you read the news about the guy in DC who was planning to kill the president? As I was reading through, I kept praying him not to be a Moroccan and the f^cker had to be.’ He was getting incensed. ‘ F^cking Moron! It could've been an Algerian - well, it wouldn't have made any difference-or a Canadian, Chinese or an Indian or even a f^cking Nepalese. Nope. It had to be a Moroccan.'
I heartily laughed to diffuse the situation.’ I did read that news. I hadn't seen you for a week then. I thought of you. Seriously. I thought how adept you were in living incognito here before you flew to DC. Then I got scared as I thought I would be interviewed until I saw a picture of the guy in another news source. He is really stupid!'
'You f^cker! You and I are no less stupid either. You ain't going to walk home, are you? You are going to drive and do you realize how drunk you are ? I'll be doing the same. But again life isn't the same.' He abruptly changed the discourse. 'Life is all downhill from here. It's just going to be mechanical. You will be living in nostalgia and resort to wishful thinking like a house, better pay, a beautiful wife, Green Card, on and on. Chasing horizon after horizon. However you'll never realize it's not a horizon-it's a mirage. When you think it will get easy, a new set of problems will come your way. It's like a permanent puddle with transient water. As soon as that water is gone, different water comes from somewhere and fills the puddle. Your life is doomed brother.'
He started laughing maniacally.
'For God's sake, stop it! Not this shit again.' I interjected before he could go further. 'Everyone has his own fire to fight. I don't want to hear anything now. Save it for another time, will you ? Better yet sign me up to your newsletter.’ I think I overreacted. 'Alright Aji, I am going home. Drive safe.'
'You too f^cker!' And he got into his car. Seemingly the brotherly love all vanished.
Indeed the guilt was insurmountable but it wasn't a time and place to do so. I drove out of the parking lot to Main Street. Needless to say my reasoning capability had been impaired due to alcohol. After a while I realized that I had been straddling the centerline. Be alert and focus on the wheel brother.
It was very warm inside. The uncomforting warmth was making me giddy. I felt like I had been inside a pressurized capsule and the seatbelt was devising a hideous plan to strangulate me. Feeling short of breath I opened the windows. There was a strong wind blowing outside. It started pounding my face. Immediately I closed them again and turned on AC.
My default radio station is NPR.I slightly increased the volume.
'..Santorum spoke against abortion and homosexuality....'
'F^cking hypocrite!' For some self-explanatory reasons I am repulsed by his name. I scanned for other channels.
'...Har sham aankhon par tera aanchal lehraye...pal pal dil ke paas tum....'
'..Piano man he makes his stand...tiny dancers in my hand...."
Tony Danza !
Tiny dancers in form of red, green and yellow bubbles were sprouting up and dissipating in front of me at frequent intervals.