IV. Candid Verses: The Chatroom Dilemma!
Say you’re a chat addict like me. You log on to a Chatroom. You go down the list of fifty male names, and finally your eyes are transfixed on two female names, Say: Shristi and Aneeta! Who would you rather chat with?
When you reach this stage my friend, one of the two tragedies is inevitable:
1. She turns out to be a male, which you find the hard way. You are pleasantly shocked, vow never to chat again, get drunk and go back to the chat room the next day. 2. It turns out the she’s really that sophisticated urban girl you have been waiting all your life!
The latter is a tougher pill to swallow. When she eventually finds out that you don’t look anywhere close to the picture you sent her, that your height is merely an illusion of the camera angle; that your photo-shopped six pack in reality is just one big rounded belly; that your 12 hour work shift in a "financial hub" is really in the next door gas station; and your "business trip" last summer was to the Ocean City, you will be phased out.
Have you noticed how girls never outright reject you? Instead, she suddenly becomes busier than usual. Slowly she becomes unavailable. When confronted, she will still want to be your friend. She’ll want to hear about your progress. She’ll want to tell you about the guys she has crush on and so forth. In simpler terms, she now wants to share the same plate but not the same bed!
Men don’t take this well. It is in our caveman-genes also known as stupidity: when we realize that we can’t have something for certain, then we’re ready to die for it. That’s when the studs and machos turn creepy, emotional, needy, and cranky and resort to unusual amount of drink, smoke or maybe even prescription pills. I say look at the bright side: the weaker ones may perish, but the great philosophers, writers, poets, singers, song writers are borne out of this universal tragedy.
And they call us dogs. Ok maybe - We’re dogs after all because we don’t seem to learn an ounce. After all this heart-wrenching experience, you’re bound to do the unthinkable. You go back to the chat-room with a new Avatar and a stronger resolve to find the right one! I mean the right one with the right nickname!