Darpanchaya,

I felt sad reading your post. Brother, I know what you are going through. I have felt very similar emotions also at one point in my life. I am sorry you are going through this. It is very difficult to go through what you are going through. On one hand you are rejected by friends and relatives because you have not got it economically together. On the other hand, without their moral support, you don't have the kind of emotional support that you need...so that you can get it economically together. 

It becomes like the Chicken or the Egg. Without the Chicken there is no egg. And without the egg there is no chicken. It is a real dillema. 

So in your case you don't know if you should work towards getting the chicken or the egg. Right?