December 20, 2011 Washington, DC.

A day after the death of Kim Jong, the departed president of North Korea, the Department of Homeland Security has issued a press release asking all foreign immigrants with F1, J1 visas and permanent residency to surrender their passports.

There has been mass speculation regarding this press release. The White House has ignored several phone calls in this regard. Chief Strategist for the Homeland Security Timothy Donahue has implied that the US needs all manpower it can get to reach it's goal of global expansion. "North Korea is located at a very strategic location and right now there is a vaccuum of power in that region due to Kim Jong's death. We will need to act and act fast." he said.

It is not known why foreigners are being involved in this phase of the US global expansion. An unidentified source at the Pentagon has mentioned on condition of anonymity that "foreigners have immigrated to the US for a very long time and they have been taking full advantage of the luxuries and opportunities given by the US constitution. In order to provide them with the opportunity and standard of living, we have sent thousands of US citizens in harms way to defend our nation. It is jointly believed by the house of representatives and the judiciary body that it is time to let the immigrants earn their rights to reside in this great country."

The DHS has given a period of 1 month to comply with their request. During this period, the immigrants can either choose to stay in the US and surrender their passports and await training and deployment, or they can choose to leave at their own will within the month.

Reporting live from Washington, DC.