@ GrgDai

I think that the difference between what Nepalese speak, and the lives they truly live in America, brings a lot of conflict in their inner personal lives. And a person cannot be happy living in such conflict.

I find that a lot of Nepalese feel very defensive. They are struggling to find their identity. We come and live in America. And we are not completely sure about what the expectations are for us. We bring our mentallity of caste and creed from Nepal. We cannot fully drop this understanding and pretend that it is not there. But since it is considered racist to hold unto it, we cannot really adopt it either.

In many Nepali circles, Bahuns still feel comfortable with Bahuns. Newars still feel comfortable with Newars. We some how feel shy and uncomfortable to acknowledge this. So in many ways we end up playing cultural geurilla warfare because we practice what we cannot communicate in words. It is not socially acceptable to utter these words. So in many ways we live two lives. One life is the one we speak in Nepali circles. And the other is the one we practice but cannot put into words. So in this way we are conflicted.

So based on our identity of our caste, creed, family upbringing, gender, economic status etc, we have expectations accordingly about what it is that we should be doing and how. We are judged accordingly in our Nepali circle.

Many Nepalese feel defensive, I feel. That is why Nepalese have such short fuse.