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I am glad that you have finally understood how I feel, brother. Thank you. Yes, I too am haunted by images of my Mother Nepal, like you.
Why do we all need to be forced to give up our love and the depth of the emotion of what we feel to what we hold sacred? Why should we be forced to be "cool" enough to have to jump on the latest "trendy" bandwagon that is simply making some MTV executive wealthy? Why are we Nepalese painted as barbarians just because we wish to hold unto what we hold to be sacred...what our parents, grand-parents and our ancestors held unto as sacred for so many years?
Some people say there is no easy answer. Why do they say this? The answer is easy.
Let me give an analogy: Think of Mother Nepal as one tree in a jungle full of many different trees. Think of the Jungle as the United Nations.
The answer is that we all need to find, search and hold unto our roots. For those who lose their way, and cannot find their own roots will find themselves lost in the canopy of the jungle where all leaves, twigs and branches mix. And there my friend, you will not know what tree that you, the leaf, belong to. And as much as all the trees, branches, leaves, twigs and buds make up the jungle, remember, that you are but a leaf. You are but one leaf. A specific leaf that is nurtured by a specific branch. That branch is attached and fed by a certain trunk in that jungle. And that trunk is a part of a certain type of a tree. And that tree's roots go deep deep inside the soil to bring nutrients to the trunk. And that trunk feeds the branch. And that branch in turn feeds the specific twig that you the leaf are hanging off of... in the breeze, sunning yourself.
But in the modern day and age, I realize that I have forgotten all of this. I have gotten so carried away with celebrating the oneness of the jungle...that I, a Nepali, have forgotten the specific tree that I belong to that nurtures and sustains the unique individual that I am. It is this tree that has sustained the identity of my parents and grandparents. It is this tree that had fed and nurtured and made my ancestors proud. It was through this tree that the Hindu spirit came to life in the jungle.
But we have forgotten all of this. Everyone wants us to simply lose our identity and individuality and merge in the blended mushy juice that is MTV culture. And that is bullshit!
Each individual tree needs to be appreciated and fed on it's own account for us all to enjoy a jungle. I am responsible for my tree. And you are responsible for yours.
What is the difficulty in understanding that?
Brother Chaurey, do you agree with what I am saying?