I don't have a silver bullet or 10-steps to meaningful relationships that I can throw up here but I think when it comes to making social connections the main thing is recognizing whether or not somebody is worthy of your friendship. If you extend your hand and the other person doesn't reciprocate, then they are probably not worthy of your friendship and you should not waste time trying to create any further impressions on them. If, on the other hand, people reciprocate your gestures, reach out to you and accept you for who you are, then that can be the basis for a lasting and authentic relationship.

Whatever you do, don't try too hard to fit in. As LE Modesitt Jr wrote in his book the  Ethos Effect "If you try too hard to fit in, you become a slave to those in power". If you are not interested in watching sports, for goodness sake, don't force yourself to watch a game , or worse , google up the previous day's NBA scores just so that you can have a conversation with someone in the office about it in the hopes that it might somehow lead to a meaningful friendship with them. The resulting social connection you make is in all likelihood going to be very short-lived, shallow and fake to say the least. It's okay to say I don't watch football, basketball, baseball or hockey. Or to say I don't understand politics or religion or philosophy. If your 'friends' judge you adversely for that, then they are probably not worth your time and they can go find other friends (and so can you!)


As far as making social connections in the West versus back home goes, much of it depends on one's age, social environment and 'station in life' so to speak. You are more likely to make new friends in your teens and early twenties regardless of where you live in the world. I feel as people approach their thirties and beyond, their priorities and perspectives change and so does their behavior and ability to make new friends. People become picky and less patient with those they have nothing in common. We have to accept this as a fact of life and learn to moderate our craving for more friends in my opinion.

If you are living in a society different from the one you grew up in, you have the added need to be accepted which you would not have had had you remained put in the society of your birth - and this adds an additional dimension to your sociability. I have been all over the place on this and my perspectives have undergone many changes over time but at the end of the day, I think you just have to be yourself and if being yourself makes you unlikable to someone then so be it! These days when I go to the mall and see a woman from the sub-continent walking around in a saree or salwar kameez with a tika on her forehead and donning a pair of sneakers , I look up in admiration at her. I admire her defiance of the pressure to fit in. I would strike a friendship any day with her over some people who try too hard to fit in.

Not sure if my thoughts will help you make more friends or more meaningful social connections but let me share this: I am happiest when I am myself and don't obsess about being accepted for who I am. It is a liberating feeling. And oh by the way, happy me has a heck of a lot more friends and finds meaning in my relationships than the miserable me that I can sometimes turn into.

Best wishes.