Posted by: Jukti June 6, 2011
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Thanks Khalisisi bro for taking your time to go through my words and sharing your suggestions. It’s nice to know and read them. Somehow my ego feels to read, digest, and respond to some of the point you have mentioned! I don’t know why but at times my ego makes noises.
1. Since we are "different", people will not come to you, you have to go to people .
Of course, this is very true. Tyo Nepali ukhaana cha ni “bol ne ko pitho bikcha na bol ne koo .... sth sth” Tried this many times. Starts with “how are you?” ends with “thank you.”
2. If you are trying hard and still are not making any friends, maybe you are trying too hard.
This is the catch 22.
3. Find a hobby, E.g. you like to read go to the library, and find out if they have a book club assoicated with them or have classes for one language or the other. You can meet tons of great people at the library. Same goes for any hobby.
1. Since we are "different", people will not come to you, you have to go to people .
Of course, this is very true. Tyo Nepali ukhaana cha ni “bol ne ko pitho bikcha na bol ne koo .... sth sth” Tried this many times. Starts with “how are you?” ends with “thank you.”
2. If you are trying hard and still are not making any friends, maybe you are trying too hard.
This is the catch 22.
3. Find a hobby, E.g. you like to read go to the library, and find out if they have a book club assoicated with them or have classes for one language or the other. You can meet tons of great people at the library. Same goes for any hobby.
Hobbies OMG so many. Photography, poetry, philosophy, volleyball, cricket, camping, trekking, walking, long driver, travelling, watching international films, sitcoms, music festivals, international film festivals, kayaking, hiking etc list goes long.
4. American culutre is a sharp edged sword, one has to develop a sense of humor and has to know how to "bust someone's chop"! Do not take anything personally, and when someone sounds rude to you , keep in mind that it might be their attempt at humor, let im/her have it! I am sure they will appreciate you for that (90% of the Americans I have met, do not like the subservient attitude)
5. make eye contacts with people, start with little compliments. when it comes to gaining confidence, a little smile from someone, esp someone from the other sex does wonders to confidence. The more confident you become the less of a creep you become ("creepy" is anyone an american will never become friends with, not even if they are a creep themselves lol). Remember to get something you have to give something. Moreover, this does not have to be "sexual"
Not to sound cocky bro have been learning to transcend this part of mind game and psyche in the West lifestyle. Life isn’t as serious as the mind makes it to be.
6. READ, learn about America as much as you can. If you are in Rome act like a Roman!
It’s very true of what you are saying. However, it is also true that “kaaga ko hool ma bakulo”
7. Hit a bar and become friends with the bartender, if the bartender is a woman and you are a man, do not try to hit on her, she will appreciate it and might even introduce you with a few cool people!
I agree that we are consumers but what is waking my soul is if we have to consume why only consume bad things or things that impact badly on us. The capitalism consumer market, sex market, addiction market, etc in the West appears as a mirage to peaceful existence.
8. If you do not succed at the first few times, do not lose hope, there are plenty of people who feel the same way as you. Even Americans. This heals bro.
9. Talk to your Nepali friends sometimes they know a lot of cool people around. Friends do not necessarily have to be "Americans" I have had great friends from all parts of the world. That's the beauty of this place.
Have tried ever since I arrived here. It’s only leading to situations such as “did chicken came first or egg!”
10. America is not Nepal, so please forget about chiya pasal hangout/conversation and that level of friendship with most of the people. Make a few good friends and stick to them.
May be I am having a cultural clashes and can’t assimilate well. But that “few good friends” is the catch I have been questing.
11. If none of these work, Work on your personality. Maybe something is wrong in that front. We look like slobs sometimes, without us catching any wind of it whatsoever. Self analysis is sometimes helpful.
Yes yes yes. Have been doing so much of self reflection, realization etc. It’s eating me out alive as self-torture.
Anyhow bro, I appreciate your disclosures. And will mull over it again and again. 6. READ, learn about America as much as you can. If you are in Rome act like a Roman!
It’s very true of what you are saying. However, it is also true that “kaaga ko hool ma bakulo”
7. Hit a bar and become friends with the bartender, if the bartender is a woman and you are a man, do not try to hit on her, she will appreciate it and might even introduce you with a few cool people!
I agree that we are consumers but what is waking my soul is if we have to consume why only consume bad things or things that impact badly on us. The capitalism consumer market, sex market, addiction market, etc in the West appears as a mirage to peaceful existence.
8. If you do not succed at the first few times, do not lose hope, there are plenty of people who feel the same way as you. Even Americans. This heals bro.
9. Talk to your Nepali friends sometimes they know a lot of cool people around. Friends do not necessarily have to be "Americans" I have had great friends from all parts of the world. That's the beauty of this place.
Have tried ever since I arrived here. It’s only leading to situations such as “did chicken came first or egg!”
10. America is not Nepal, so please forget about chiya pasal hangout/conversation and that level of friendship with most of the people. Make a few good friends and stick to them.
May be I am having a cultural clashes and can’t assimilate well. But that “few good friends” is the catch I have been questing.
11. If none of these work, Work on your personality. Maybe something is wrong in that front. We look like slobs sometimes, without us catching any wind of it whatsoever. Self analysis is sometimes helpful.
Yes yes yes. Have been doing so much of self reflection, realization etc. It’s eating me out alive as self-torture.
Sanju baba: I" like the point you made Remember its not fair to expect everyone talking like you or thinking like you." Thanks man.
Last edited: 06-Jun-11 06:06 PM