Chicksrock,

I understand how you feel. I feel very similarily about my parents too. My story is different than yours. But the emotion you feel, I feel also. I too have felt neglected by my parents. But it is a lot more than that. We come from a culture where parents are considered worshippable. So for a lot of Nepali guys and girls, the fact that you are talking about your parents in this way, it is inconceivable to them.

As a society we are not encouraged to discuss having abusive or neglectful parents. It is scary to many Nepalese to hear such things. They will try to shut you up and tell you to move on. Anything that does not have an easy solution to, in Nepal, they will try to just shut you up and tell you to move on. As a culture we are not taught how to deal with painful emotions.

But guys like you and I know how difficult it is to move on from things like this. It is very challenging and painful trying to understand our individual stories from a Nepali cultural context.

That is why, despite needing to maintain my privacy, I posted my story online in sajha out of a sheer feeling of desperation. Perhaps you are feeling a similar feeling of desperation. That is why you have come here in this public forum and are asking for people to be understanding of you.

I did a similar thing by posting this thread. I shared how I felt neglected and abandoned:

http://www.sajha.com/sajha/html/openthread.cfm?StartRow=1&PageNum=1&forum=2&threadid=84713

I have gone to psychological counseling and this has helped me a lot. But despite this I still need a lot of help. You might want to think about going for psychological counseling also. Otherwise when you have your own family a lot of your drama from the past will come back to haunt you.
But don't expect a lot of support from the Nepali community about this. There is a very negative stigma to psychological counseling in the Nepali community. Many people do not understand how this is helpful.

For me, I eventually found out that my mother fits the profile of a sociopath. For many Nepalese, this is inconceivable to call your mother a sociopath. But when I read the description below to my siblings, they were shocked as to how much the below descriptions fits our mother. Sometimes it is more difficult to face facts about the harsh realities of who are parents are than to have a romantic and wishful ideal about our parents. We all want to worship our parents. I want to worship mine. But that doesn't mean that all of our parents are worthy of worship. Most Nepalese will never understand this simple thing.

http://www.youmeworks.com/sociopaths.html

http://www.mcafee.cc/Bin/sb.html