Dead Pussy

An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the
remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the
driver, I have a dead pussy.



The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, "Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common.

Birds and Bees

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in.



“Mother, where do babies come from?”



The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and
Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their
bedroom, they kiss and hug and have sex.”



The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the
daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby,
honey.” The child seems to comprehend.



“Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had
daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?”



“Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”