A panjabi guy walks into the library. He walks up to the counter, SLAMS a book down and screams at the librarian, - "This is the WORST book I've ever read!" "It has NO plot and far too many characters!" The librarian looks up and calmly remarks - "So, you're the one who took our phone book...."

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A blonde and a brunette were watching the 11:00 pm news. The current news story was about a man up on ledge and threatening to jump, when the station cuts to a commercial.
Brunette: I bet you $20, he's going to jump.
Blonde: OK
(Back to newscast: He jumped !)
Blonde: OK. I lost. Here's my $20 to you.
Brunette: No, that was too easy. I can't take it.
Blonde: I insist. I lost.
Brunette: I have a confession to make. I saw the same thing on the 6:00pm news and I knew he jumped. So it wasn't really a good bet.
Blonde: I know. I saw the same newscast at 6 too. But I didn't think he would be stupid enough to jump TWICE!.