? 
Thank you so much for yall's responses. I thought sajha is the portal for making fun of others and posting things like "Nepali kti haru le sabai dekhau na thale". Today i am sure sajha is a cure of what I am going through. I think I would be tired of explaining my situation to doctors here in America, but nepaliko mann nepali le nai bujhchha few sentences help identify my situation and provide cure too. My response could be answer to some folks, please find respective response and answer them.
I think I am an over ambitious individual with less motivation and trying to put less efforts toward doing it. And when you do not put enough effort, your motivation lowers. For example, i would have to run lots of errands, but I take it easy and do not do them until it's too late. It's been more than a week I hadnot started walking 5 miles a day or started working out. Or applied to grad schools for about a month because I am scared to face professors since I do not have resume that involved me in various activities and I will be ashamed when they asked "then what would I put in your recommendation letters?" However, I made straight As in their classes and actively participated in their classes (but it's already more than a year if they would remember about my contribution to their classes). So , I spend my time doing less important thing that for a little bit keep myself happy like watching movies or songs on youtube instead of doing important things. Even if it's like paying bills on computer I would proscastinate.
Also, I feel I am a lonesome person. For sometime if I have a friend he would not be frens for ever and i feel I hurt him some reasons that's why I get jealous when others have lots of "wall writings on facebook" page but not me.
As far as my academic background goes: until sophomore years I was planning on doing accounting. Then my roommate brother suggested me doing IT since I was little brilliant students (according to him and I couldl easily find a job when I graduated). Even with my hardwork at work and school, I end up making barely enough GPA to get admitted in university. Then I was like how come brahmins are so sharp and with little or no hard work end up making straight As. Well that's that. So, after joining university I quit my GS job and started studying all the time and started learing. This all chaneged until I met this guy who would do all my homeworks. So, I have my ungrad GPA of 3.58 with majority from my business classes ( i have diploma in BS in IT from school of business). After this I could not taking consulting from Dhoti because my bills were moounting and I had to work to pay them. Again this is an excuse I knew I could sleep 5 hours instead of 8 hours and do that , but i did not do.
Regarding my academic background: until my sophomore years I wanted to do accounting.But my roommate brother taught me into doing IT. he got a BI job after graduating with business degree taking training in some other states and taking job in different state. I think he had some loan too but he was courageous enough to take risk...... after all he is a brahmin. It 's not that I do not like IT, I do and I want to experiments with computers like formatting computers to make it brand new and such but i am afraid I might screw up. If you do not think computer is not my cup of tea, then what would you think is my cup of tea? I am really good at memorizing things-- I know all my debit cc nos, expiration, sec code; all license tag numbers of about 20 cars of th relatives here in US; about 20 nos of business here in DFW; anything I look at once I can memorize real easy. AMOF, this posting which I am wrting was deleted 3 times (for some reasons) I was able to write word-to-word same eventhen.
Hey axl, what kind of personal letter you are talking about, can you help me with that? Hope all this explaination will help shedding light to my situation and provide more insightful suggestions.
Thanks