Posted by: techGuy November 6, 2009
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Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0 :)
> 
> 
> Dear Tech Support Team:
> Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0.
> 
> 
> I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child-processes that
> took up a lot of space and valuable resources.
> 
> In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now
> monitors all other system activities.
> 
> Applications such as BachelorNights 10.3, Cricket 5.0, BeerWithBuddies
> 7.5, and Outings 3.6 no longer runs, crashing the system whenever selected.
> 
> I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting
> to run my favorite applications.
> 
> I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 5.0, but the 'uninstall'
> doesn't work on Wife 1.0.
> 
> Please help!
> 
> 
> Thanks,
> 'A Troubled User'
> 
> 
> 
> 
> REPLY:
> 
> Dear Troubled User:
> 
> This is a very common problem that people complain about.
> 
> 
> Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is
> just a Utilities and Entertainment program.
> 
> 
> Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run
> EVERYTHING!!!
> 
> It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 5.0.
> 
> 
> It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system
> once installed.
> 
> You cannot go back to Girlfriend 5.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed
> not to allow this. (Look in your Wife 1.0 Manual under
> Warnings-Alimony-Child
> Support) .
> 
> I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the environment.
> 
> 
> I suggest installing the background application 'Yes Dear' to
> alleviate software augmentation.
> 
> The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because
> ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.
> 
> Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance.
> Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean 2.5, Sweep
> 3.0, Cook 1.5 and Do Laundry 4.2 . However, be very careful how you
> use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the
> program NagNag 9.5 . Once this happens, the only way to improve the performanceof Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Shoes 2.1and Jewellery 5.0
> 
> 
> 
> STATUTORY WARNING :
> DO NOT, under any circumstances,
> install SecretaryWithShortSkirt 3.3. This application is not supported
> by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
> 
> 
> Best of luck,
> IT Dept.

Regards,
 
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