Whisky- They drink Jack Daniels and think its whisky. Whisky is for retards and alcoholics and 40 yrs old divorcee.

 Scotch- below 35 not allowed drinking. You gotta meet some certain level like me.

Rum- Strictly for Caribbeans and retard Puerto Ricans . Makes best Mojitos.

Brandy- Ask French mofos, they are the one who invent weird shit. IF you ever drink one shot, it stinks for miles.

Zin- If you tell me you are a gin drinker, Go back to Nepal. More like you are saying “you live in Texas and you are a COWBOY”

Beer- for brokes, to enjoy well summer and for Sundays (makes you look less alcoholic) and for cheap dates, which always ends up never getting laid.

Wine- RESERVED FOR ME. I WILL BE MORE THAN HAPPY WITH 2005 FLOWERS PINOT NOIR FROM NAPA TONIGHT.

Oh Vodka- everyone rapes vodka. They think they know it very well; everyone is very emotional about it. They order dirty martini and asks for more dirty, meaning go to corner store and buy olive juice. Makes you shit faced in zero seconds. After 2, it makes you feel like you are the coolest guy in crowd. After 4, you end up having fight with the Girls bf and after 6, you are too proud to pee and vomit everywhere.

 Tequila- heading to disaster. What’s up with the lime? You think it helps you cut alcohol? Well, after three, you are the first one to get kicked out of the bar. Drink Tequila, if you are with friends and getting bored. Bouncers will get your job done.