Here is the best dal recipe you will ever!

Get some dal and boil it in medium heat till it turns pink.

Add a cup of brown sugar, few cardamom, ginger root and throw in some

garlic. Stir generously till the mixture turns purpple. Then saute few

yellow onions till charcoal black. At this point, crack open a cold bud ice 40

drink all of it and call that girl you really like, calling a girl part is really

optional. Now, stumble around in the kitchen and find a knife, cut few potatoes,

yams and pinto beans, you can also use lima beans. Now with the same knife

slowly insert it up your rare end untill you feel your pancreas and think how

pathetic you are for not knowing how to cook dal.