Science of Bollywood

There are no specific rules, of course, although general guidelines include:

• Punches must sound like small firecrackers.
  
• Guns must also sound like small firecrackers.
  
• The villain must be unshaven. Better still, he'll have a beard.
  
• The cue for the villain's defeat is when he crashes into a fruit stall.
  
• Amitabh Bitchin has his own rules.
  
• Mysterious music pops up from nowhere, which everyone hears
  (perfectly synchronised), and the ability to dance in time to it is
  miraculously granted to all bystanders.
  
• If you are a hero, you can jump from any building no matter
  how much high, you will not get a scratch & you can continue
  running after that.
  
• If you are hero, you cannot die without saying a long 15minute dialogue no matter how injured you are.
  
• If you're the heroine, you must sit there for fifteen minutes
  hiccuping and listening to your dying lover's speech, instead of
  calling the ambulance. Dumb bitch.
  
• The hero will, after fighting with at least 10,000 villans, come out without so much of a scratch
  
• Women stand wide-eyed, hand to mouth, while hero battles
  villain. Women never thinks to clonk villain with handy object.
  Counterpoint: If woman does clonk, she always hits hero instead.
• The heroine can get into a taxi and go wherever she likes without giving the driver any address
  
• When crossing a rotting suspended bridge, with well spaced
  wooden slats, the slat will always brake when a woman steps on it.
  Also, it is odd that the wood will rot away long before the vine ropes
  begin to rot!
  
•  Any actors in the movie who are not of Indian origin, especially Caucasians, must speak in an american accent. The accent produced must
  be out of tone and style with the rest of the cast.
  
• Each movie must have a inspiration movie from hollywood
• Thugs must always approach hero one at a time, even though they all came in a group.
  
• Every movie must have 10 songs. each needs to be a minimum of 10 minutes In the corresponding videos,