Posted by: Khairey January 20, 2009
Login in to Rate this Post:
0 
? 
?
v Similarity between a dick & matchstick?
Both have heads without brains, both flare up at slightest friction...... both fizzle out after showing valour for 2secs....!!!
v Man Teases his ex-wife's new husband: So, dude how was the second-hand stuff? New husband: Not bad. After the first 3 inches......she was brand new.
v Great door signs:
Gynecologist: Dr Jones at your cervix.
Septic tank truck: Yesterday's meals on wheels.
Plumber's office: We repair what ur husband fixed.
Tire shop: Invite us to ur next blowout.
Electrical shop: Let us remove ur shorts.
Maternity room: Push, Push, Push.
v Failure is not when ur girlfriend leaves you... It's only when u leave her a virgin.
v Tension is when wife is pregnant!
Terror: When girlfriend is pregnant!
Horror: When both r pregnant!
Tragedy: When U r Not responsible 4 both!
v What do politicians & porn stars have in common?
They are experts in switching positions in front of a camera!
v Define contraceptive pill?
It's the second best thing that a women can keep in her mouth.............. to avoid pregnancy.
v The Blue Whale ejaculates over 40 gallons of Sperm when Mating. Only 10% enters the female. And you always wondered why the sea tasted Salty?!
v Why is it that a girl looks down when u say I love u?
To see if u really mean it.....!
v 70 ways to make a woman happy: No. 1 is shopping..............................the rest is '69'.
v Why is sex similar to shaving?
Well, because no matter how well u do it today............ tomorrow u have to do it again...............!!!!
v Wives are funny creatures. They don't have sex with their husbands for weeks................... and then they want to kill the woman who does.
v Wife: My hubby & I have, what he calls-olympic sex .
Friend: Wow, must be a terrific sex life?
Wife: Not really. It only happens once in 4 Years.
v The stock markets now are like an old man's dick?
Just refusing to rise, and the irony is that everyone is still getting screwed............!
v This week is Breast Awareness Week........... Spread the slogan:............ We stare because we care!
v The saddest part of a Man's body is his Balls. The Lord Almighty sentenced them to : Hang Untill Death !
v Why are condoms transparent?
So that sperms can atleast enjoy the scene, even if their entry is restricted...!
v What is common between a girl's legs, n Amul butter?
Both are delicious when spread.
v What is a husband's idea of foreplay?
Half an hour of begging.
v A loud scream comes from the bedroom and the husband runs in. He sees a guy leaping out of the window.
Wife yells: That guy just screwed me twice!
Husband: Twice? Why didn't you call me in after he screwed you once?
Wife: Because I thought it was you............ until he started the second time.
v What is the difference between a chicken and a baby?
Chicken is the result of a sitting hen................ while the baby is the result of standing cock.
v If a bomb bursts in a bra, what would you get?
Tit-Bits.
And if it bursts in a man's underwear?
Banana split.
v What's the diff between a bomb n a condom?
In a bomb blast population decreases .................in a condom blasts population increases.
v Name the 5 great kings that have brought happiness in peoples lives?
DrinKING,
LicKING,
SucKING,
F***KING,
W*nKING !
Both have heads without brains, both flare up at slightest friction...... both fizzle out after showing valour for 2secs....!!!
v Man Teases his ex-wife's new husband: So, dude how was the second-hand stuff? New husband: Not bad. After the first 3 inches......she was brand new.
v Great door signs:
Gynecologist: Dr Jones at your cervix.
Septic tank truck: Yesterday's meals on wheels.
Plumber's office: We repair what ur husband fixed.
Tire shop: Invite us to ur next blowout.
Electrical shop: Let us remove ur shorts.
Maternity room: Push, Push, Push.
v Failure is not when ur girlfriend leaves you... It's only when u leave her a virgin.
v Tension is when wife is pregnant!
Terror: When girlfriend is pregnant!
Horror: When both r pregnant!
Tragedy: When U r Not responsible 4 both!
v What do politicians & porn stars have in common?
They are experts in switching positions in front of a camera!
v Define contraceptive pill?
It's the second best thing that a women can keep in her mouth.............. to avoid pregnancy.
v The Blue Whale ejaculates over 40 gallons of Sperm when Mating. Only 10% enters the female. And you always wondered why the sea tasted Salty?!
v Why is it that a girl looks down when u say I love u?
To see if u really mean it.....!
v 70 ways to make a woman happy: No. 1 is shopping..............................the rest is '69'.
v Why is sex similar to shaving?
Well, because no matter how well u do it today............ tomorrow u have to do it again...............!!!!
v Wives are funny creatures. They don't have sex with their husbands for weeks................... and then they want to kill the woman who does.
v Wife: My hubby & I have, what he calls-olympic sex .
Friend: Wow, must be a terrific sex life?
Wife: Not really. It only happens once in 4 Years.
v The stock markets now are like an old man's dick?
Just refusing to rise, and the irony is that everyone is still getting screwed............!
v This week is Breast Awareness Week........... Spread the slogan:............ We stare because we care!
v The saddest part of a Man's body is his Balls. The Lord Almighty sentenced them to : Hang Untill Death !
v Why are condoms transparent?
So that sperms can atleast enjoy the scene, even if their entry is restricted...!
v What is common between a girl's legs, n Amul butter?
Both are delicious when spread.
v What is a husband's idea of foreplay?
Half an hour of begging.
v A loud scream comes from the bedroom and the husband runs in. He sees a guy leaping out of the window.
Wife yells: That guy just screwed me twice!
Husband: Twice? Why didn't you call me in after he screwed you once?
Wife: Because I thought it was you............ until he started the second time.
v What is the difference between a chicken and a baby?
Chicken is the result of a sitting hen................ while the baby is the result of standing cock.
v If a bomb bursts in a bra, what would you get?
Tit-Bits.
And if it bursts in a man's underwear?
Banana split.
v What's the diff between a bomb n a condom?
In a bomb blast population decreases .................in a condom blasts population increases.
v Name the 5 great kings that have brought happiness in peoples lives?
DrinKING,
LicKING,
SucKING,
F***KING,
W*nKING !