Posted by: fortunefaded December 4, 2008
Login in to Rate this Post:
0 
? 
?
mcmxc,
your piece raises a question that our generation constantly ask themselves. There are two things that I will like to mention.
First, if we look at the history of the United States, 40 years ago if a white girl married a black man, you would be ostracized by your family. I am talking about general perception here. Things have certainly changed and thus give it a 30 or so years and inter-caste marriage would be no biggie.
Now, to get to your real question about why our parents feel queasy about accepting a bride or groom from another caste, I believe it has to do with what sociologist call mores.
Quoting Wiki "Mores derive from the established practices of a society rather than its written laws. They consist of shared understandings about the kinds of behavior likely to evoke approval, disapproval, toleration or sanction, within particular contexts."
source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mores
Yes it is the very foundation of our parents mores that causes them to discriminate when they see their children attached to someone from a different caste. And sociologist believe, mores are one of the hardest, if not impossible things to change. It's something ingrained inside you. Thus this discrimination is ingrained in our culture. Our parents grew up with a strong influence of the caste system. They cannot change themselves even if they want to. But do mores change? Of course! Slavery was once considered normal in the US but it's considered inhumane now. And your article just proves that your mores are different from your parents.
Now, the second.
You said
"Would you, at the behest of our customary beliefs, rather see your children writhe in a life-long pain of separation from their loving halves or, justly embrace the love of your children and let them live a happy life of their choosing."
What you were trying to get at is a person might be in love with someone from a different caste and it's their right to be together and happy. Let me play the devil's advocate.
Think about it in terms of your parents happiness as well. You know that your parents will be somewhat troubled when you marry someone from a different caste. May be they will always be unhappy with your decision and never accept you. It's against their mores. By making yourself happy, you have compromised your parents happiness.
The question then is what is the morally right thing to do? If you think that your happiness is the only one that matters, then you are being selfish.
If you want to approach the issue in terms of the Utilitarian theory of ethics, it says the morally right thing to do is to do what makes the 'most utility.' In other words make most people happy. That means not only your parents, but your relatives might be pissed. The community you live in might be angry. But that's in the short term. But, in the long run, when we have people from different castes and race working together, the society will be well off.
It has been proved time and again that a society will be prosperous if we do not have discrimination.
Thus, my opinion on the issue is that our society needs some time before they accept inter-caste marriage. The change has already started and it will continue.
Peace.
your piece raises a question that our generation constantly ask themselves. There are two things that I will like to mention.
First, if we look at the history of the United States, 40 years ago if a white girl married a black man, you would be ostracized by your family. I am talking about general perception here. Things have certainly changed and thus give it a 30 or so years and inter-caste marriage would be no biggie.
Now, to get to your real question about why our parents feel queasy about accepting a bride or groom from another caste, I believe it has to do with what sociologist call mores.
Quoting Wiki "Mores derive from the established practices of a society rather than its written laws. They consist of shared understandings about the kinds of behavior likely to evoke approval, disapproval, toleration or sanction, within particular contexts."
source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mores
Yes it is the very foundation of our parents mores that causes them to discriminate when they see their children attached to someone from a different caste. And sociologist believe, mores are one of the hardest, if not impossible things to change. It's something ingrained inside you. Thus this discrimination is ingrained in our culture. Our parents grew up with a strong influence of the caste system. They cannot change themselves even if they want to. But do mores change? Of course! Slavery was once considered normal in the US but it's considered inhumane now. And your article just proves that your mores are different from your parents.
Now, the second.
You said
"Would you, at the behest of our customary beliefs, rather see your children writhe in a life-long pain of separation from their loving halves or, justly embrace the love of your children and let them live a happy life of their choosing."
What you were trying to get at is a person might be in love with someone from a different caste and it's their right to be together and happy. Let me play the devil's advocate.
Think about it in terms of your parents happiness as well. You know that your parents will be somewhat troubled when you marry someone from a different caste. May be they will always be unhappy with your decision and never accept you. It's against their mores. By making yourself happy, you have compromised your parents happiness.
The question then is what is the morally right thing to do? If you think that your happiness is the only one that matters, then you are being selfish.
If you want to approach the issue in terms of the Utilitarian theory of ethics, it says the morally right thing to do is to do what makes the 'most utility.' In other words make most people happy. That means not only your parents, but your relatives might be pissed. The community you live in might be angry. But that's in the short term. But, in the long run, when we have people from different castes and race working together, the society will be well off.
It has been proved time and again that a society will be prosperous if we do not have discrimination.
Thus, my opinion on the issue is that our society needs some time before they accept inter-caste marriage. The change has already started and it will continue.
Peace.