Posted by: yekloyatri November 10, 2008
Login in to Rate this Post:
0 
? 
?
Dear Dallas_Guy,
To sum your whole paragraph in one word I would say "break up." You are in a really good situation and its neither going to hurt you financial status nor your social status.
a) You have not bought a house so no need to worry about who is going to pay the mortgage.
b) You don't have kids and I think you have planted the seed for one to arrive soon so no need to worry about child support (remember child support is alike another mortgage loan.)
c)You should be somewhere around 25-35 which basically means you wont have trouble finding an open minded girl who does not treat you like a little girl and not let you do things you want to.
The way things are developing I can see you wife sitting home all day playing with your kids while you work 9-5 like dog or possibly two jobs to pay the mortgage of your single family house in 2 acres(someone suggested that a women need a big home to raise their kids and to play, What a slit?). And still after you come back home you will be over loaded with instructions just like your next door neighbor gives to his dog in his evening walk.
Marriage is a big responsibility. Graduating from a college and getting a job around 60-100 K does not qualify you to get married. Average Nepalese have this sense which is completely wrong. Marriage boils down to one thing, "compromise." If you have molded your life in such a way that if you can compromise for someone and can still be happy then your relationship will work. Otherwise your life will be really depressing and you will get frustrated.
And yes there is no way out. The way your marriage is working right now I can assume that your wife will call shots all life long and you would wag your tail and run around like a honest dog. What is the point of living a life where you cant even do the thing you want to do? Why would you get married just because it is the right thing to do or what the society or others tell you to do. The reason most Nepalese men get married is not for the sole purpose of finding companionship but to find a good looking salve who will give unlimited sex. When this goes wrong most Nepalese men get frustrated. Regardless to where you live now you might have seen your dad calling shots and making plans where are your mom following the orders. Now its is really difficult for you to digest this fact right now since it's working the other way around.
There is another thing your wife might do soon if you start to do things your way. This is going to turn you into a crazy bull who wants to bang his head on the wall. You see, sex is an important aspect for all men, rich, poor, successful, unsuccessful etc.. Your wife might start to hold sex against you. And trust me nothing is better then a lusty sex after come back home after a hard day's work. You will start to find it crazy and begin to think, what am I going to get out of this relationship?
I see that few people have suggested opening separate personal accounts and then transferring money to the joint account. You can do anything you want but neither you nor her would be happy. Let me tell you this, "you can never read anyone's mind and nor can you make anyone happy all the time." You can try all you want but to me if someone is trying to control you life it's time to kiss them good bye. I don't know why should you still stay in the relationship and try to work things out in vain even when you have a clear indication(in your case) that you will have to compromise shamefully in the end always.
The people who have suggested above to work things out are similar to people in your friends circle who will make you feel that their life is in the right track and their relationship is working out great. These are the people who will draw the line and say you should never step out of this circle once you step in regardless of how much you might have to give and be unhappy. I think this is a ridiculous idea. You are in a free country there are endless possibilities. There are millions of women out there, why do you want to spend the rest of your life feeling like a puppy?
This is not about being a Man. This is about "right to live your personal life the way you want." Women can make or break your life. She can make your life miserable or prosperous. Women are a different kind of animal and they don't think like us men do. If cant compromise, cant understand her and don't want to listen to her then its a good time to get hold of your lawyer and sing the divorce papers. Remember it's never too late.
Passionate Dreamer,
YekloYatri
To sum your whole paragraph in one word I would say "break up." You are in a really good situation and its neither going to hurt you financial status nor your social status.
a) You have not bought a house so no need to worry about who is going to pay the mortgage.
b) You don't have kids and I think you have planted the seed for one to arrive soon so no need to worry about child support (remember child support is alike another mortgage loan.)
c)You should be somewhere around 25-35 which basically means you wont have trouble finding an open minded girl who does not treat you like a little girl and not let you do things you want to.
The way things are developing I can see you wife sitting home all day playing with your kids while you work 9-5 like dog or possibly two jobs to pay the mortgage of your single family house in 2 acres(someone suggested that a women need a big home to raise their kids and to play, What a slit?). And still after you come back home you will be over loaded with instructions just like your next door neighbor gives to his dog in his evening walk.
Marriage is a big responsibility. Graduating from a college and getting a job around 60-100 K does not qualify you to get married. Average Nepalese have this sense which is completely wrong. Marriage boils down to one thing, "compromise." If you have molded your life in such a way that if you can compromise for someone and can still be happy then your relationship will work. Otherwise your life will be really depressing and you will get frustrated.
And yes there is no way out. The way your marriage is working right now I can assume that your wife will call shots all life long and you would wag your tail and run around like a honest dog. What is the point of living a life where you cant even do the thing you want to do? Why would you get married just because it is the right thing to do or what the society or others tell you to do. The reason most Nepalese men get married is not for the sole purpose of finding companionship but to find a good looking salve who will give unlimited sex. When this goes wrong most Nepalese men get frustrated. Regardless to where you live now you might have seen your dad calling shots and making plans where are your mom following the orders. Now its is really difficult for you to digest this fact right now since it's working the other way around.
There is another thing your wife might do soon if you start to do things your way. This is going to turn you into a crazy bull who wants to bang his head on the wall. You see, sex is an important aspect for all men, rich, poor, successful, unsuccessful etc.. Your wife might start to hold sex against you. And trust me nothing is better then a lusty sex after come back home after a hard day's work. You will start to find it crazy and begin to think, what am I going to get out of this relationship?
I see that few people have suggested opening separate personal accounts and then transferring money to the joint account. You can do anything you want but neither you nor her would be happy. Let me tell you this, "you can never read anyone's mind and nor can you make anyone happy all the time." You can try all you want but to me if someone is trying to control you life it's time to kiss them good bye. I don't know why should you still stay in the relationship and try to work things out in vain even when you have a clear indication(in your case) that you will have to compromise shamefully in the end always.
The people who have suggested above to work things out are similar to people in your friends circle who will make you feel that their life is in the right track and their relationship is working out great. These are the people who will draw the line and say you should never step out of this circle once you step in regardless of how much you might have to give and be unhappy. I think this is a ridiculous idea. You are in a free country there are endless possibilities. There are millions of women out there, why do you want to spend the rest of your life feeling like a puppy?
This is not about being a Man. This is about "right to live your personal life the way you want." Women can make or break your life. She can make your life miserable or prosperous. Women are a different kind of animal and they don't think like us men do. If cant compromise, cant understand her and don't want to listen to her then its a good time to get hold of your lawyer and sing the divorce papers. Remember it's never too late.
Passionate Dreamer,
YekloYatri