Rythm,

Writing is an arduous task, especially because you need to narrate everything succinctly and still ensure that your point reaches across. The other fact that makes writing more difficult is; choice of words that makes the readers stay adhered to your story. There are two types of writers, the first one is more observant, and publishes after frequent rehearsals, the other, however, writes merely for adulation.

I do not want to go further to explain what sort of writer you are, but your effort is definitely laudable. Not every one is as audacious. But then again, not everyone can be a writer too. It takes good amount of reading, inherent creativity and a greater caliber to interpret your thoughts. I have witnessed you writings for last two years, read your replies, and have even commented on them a few times. With apology in advance, I must say that your writing lies in the lower level of mediocrity. You have not advanced to a better writer.

I might get killed by your admirers while I type these words, but I came across a lot of mundane terms, clichés, and ambiguous statements. For example:

“Life throws different things at you”….. – what does this mean?

“Everyone is born and everyone goes through the same stages of life- infancy, toddlerhood, childhood, teenage and then adulthood” – why is ‘everyone’ repeated? And then, does life ends at adulthood? How about being old?

This sentence should have been written as follows to make it more precise –

“Everyone undergoes similar metamorphosis in life (Period).”

It is precise, and does not have redundancies. (This is not the best example, but at least better than the one you have written).

“I was often told that I was a beautiful child, not cute but beautiful” – ‘not cute but beautiful” is superfluous.

‘Hence, I embraced nothingness; numbness brings you no hurt and liberates you’ – how does nothingness liberate you?

‘I am tired of being a part of the negative so I gave up the positive’ – this sentence is poorly written, ‘positive’ what?

Rythm, the only thing I find the best in you is, you make an effort, instead of posting something absolutely garbage. But it has been two years since you started writing, and I am really sad to see that it is not going anywhere. And alike most others, do you simply write to seek adulation? Or is it really a passion? Had it been a passion, you should have taken your writing to a different level.

If you believe you are a remarkable writer just because you are subscribed by a few in sajha, I must say you are wrong. You need to bring more insight in your stories.

I request you not to take this criticism in a negative stride, I do not want to lose what could be a better writer in sajha. But yes, I yawned through the first half and did not care to read the second.

You must also understand that besides the ones who sugar coat a bitter pill, there are few others who criticize off limits. I am one of them. You can argue that you at least made an attempt, and here I am, lambasting your story to the core and could not make an effort myself. True, but everything written in a common portal such as sajha is subjected to criticism, I am simply calling spade a spade. I am not ruling out the fact that I can be a worse writer if I write that is. But just for the sake of criticism can’t I reply truthfully?

Angeleyes, I can already see you preparing a reply to cuss me out. However, I have found your writings fare a lot better than Rythm’s.