ROLPA /KATHMANDU– While Pushpa Kamal Dahal, alias Prachanda, was greeting a jubilant crowd in remote Rolpa, a woman clad in a red sari positioned herself directly in front of him and pulled his bushy mustache with her two hands. Prachanda yelled ‘Ouch, Ouch, Ouch!!!’ and collapsed. His bodyguards immediately pounced on the woman and dragged her out of the crowd. The woman is currently in custody and under interrogation.

The tree plantation ceremony, which was to be later inaugurated by Prachanda on the premises of Jana Chetana High School, was cancelled. Prachanda was rushed to Kathmandu in a helicopter and admitted to Birendra Military Hospital, Chhauni. Dr Gobardhan Singh said that four strands of mustache were missing but the general health condition of the PM was good and there was no need for panic. He further revealed that Prachanda has been discharged from the hospital and he is on his way to Bebo Salon for further treatment.

The capital is currently abuzz with speculations as to who could have been the ones behind such a horrific and cowardly act. The Nepali Congress has already issued a statement denying any charges that the woman who pulled Prachanda’s whiskers is affiliated to their party. Al Qaeda’s Nepal Office at Tripureshwar has also pasted a notice saying that they were not involved in the incident. Asif Khan, the spokesperson for AQN, hinted that the culprits could be either the US or India. Neither the US embassy nor the India embassy could be reached for their comments.

Hom Nath Bhandari, the editor-in-chief of Pahile Kai Yug, expressed anger, “This incident places the nation’s security and sanctity at jeopardy. What was Bame [Bam Dev Gautam, the Minister for Home Affairs] doing at that time? Chasing those poor dancers while the PM’s security is so flagrantly being violated?”

A witness to the incident, on the condition of anonymity, revealed that the woman in fact appeared in front of Prachanda with the intention of touching his feet but Prachanda lunged forward to deny her that privilege. When Prachanda instead proceeded to hug her, she got scared and inadvertently pulled those whiskers. The so-called security breach is Maoist propaganda, the witness confides.

Meanwhile, the ousted king Gyanendra Shah is reported to have been frequently coming out of his dwelling at Nagarjuna and roaming the streets of Thamel; incognito and inebriated. --- Kobalt Kainla