Some funny quotes:

1. I went on diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating. In fourteen days, I lost exactly  two weeks.

2. I've enough money to last me the rest of my life...... unless I buy something.

3. Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.

4. Everyday I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

5. I'll kill anyone for Nobel peace prize.