Overweight English Irritating- Official

International travel guide publishing group the ‘Rough Guide’ released details of their forthcoming new edition on the UK, and painted a devastating portrait of Britain as a nation of lager swilling, pompous, couch potatoes.

"Of the two hundred-plus destinations across the world that Rough Guide covers, there is none so fascinating, beautiful and culturally diverse, yet as insular, self-important and irritating, as England," the Rough Guiders claimed, “England is a nation of overweight, binge-drinking reality TV addicts.”

Also singling out timeless Brit traditions including tea drinking and standing in lines (‘queuing remains a national pastime’) the guide book (written by 4 self hating Brits) was equally pessimistic about prospects for change.

"The English have become obedient consumers rather than active citizens,” they claimed, “With brand loyalty the nearest thing to religious/spiritual belief."

The picture emerged months after a survey of 1,000 English people for dating portal Cupidbay revealed that average English men masturbate eight times a week with women going solo twice a week. While 80% of women fantasized about people they knew, 75% of men relied on porn, said Metro, with 69% pleasuring themselves before computer monitors.

“It is clear from our survey that in stark contrast to men, women prefer to fantasize over real people whilst masturbating,” CupidBay.com chief Francis Deacon, told the newspaper, “Men, it would appear, tend to rely on the visual stimuli of internet pornography.”

http://m1e.net/c?79654374-OCmPujP19qOEk%403335673-AeiD.2jAWTU2%2e  (Ivor Biggun’s classic song ‘I'm a wanker’)

 

Does Seeking Security Necessarily Mean Relinquishing Freedom?
The only place to seek true security is within, specifically by aligning yourself internally to that spark of unbroken consciousness that exists at your core.

This sense of self, your inner you, has been bearing witness to your life unfolding ever since you began the journey and intuitively knows without doubt that whatever you put your mind, heart and will to will be accomplished in the fullness of time. It also understands that, providing you're open to receiving it, life will always provide you with all the requisite wherewithal and resources to keep you safe and secure as you go about achieving your goal. In this approach lies total freedom and total security.

However, relinquish that faith in your inner self and opt for the sell-out approach instead, whereby you let go of your dream to earn a steady buck and you lose both freedom and true security. You'll have comfort but beneath the surface of such coziness always lies existential insecurity-based terror just waiting to creep round behind you and whack you on the back of the head when you're least expecting it."


 

Sex & Drugs and Papal Infallibility

Catholic Church chief Pope Benedict XVI warned that ‘sex is a not a drug’, in a fresh fusillade against contraception and pre-marital sex.

"Sex risks becoming a drug that subjects a partner to their own desires and interests without any respect for the person loved,” he said in a speech made at the Vatican, “No mechanical technique can substitute the act of love between a married couple which is a sign of great mystery,” he mysteriously added.

The Pope’s comments coincided with the publication of Arthur Versluis’s new book "The Secret History of Western Sexual Mysticism: Sacred Practices and Spiritual Marriage’ in which the author examined the long history of humans finding God at orgies.

"They used overtly sexual elements in order to gain inner spiritual knowledge," Mr Versluis told Reuters, describing ritualistic orgies, “People had a desire for a union with God, and a lot of them were considered heretics for it."

Cult-watch website Religion-Cults.com cites orgies as being an integral part of Satanic black masses, going on to list ‘Sabbath Bloody Sabbath", by Black Sabbath and Ozzy Osbourne’s "Suicide Solution" as songs that ‘blatantly proselytize Satanic rituals’, much to the amusement of Ozzy’s son’s Louis.

Chatting to Skrufff this week the tech-house star admitted having occasional dealings with Satan in his youth (‘all I remember was that that fella with the man’s torso and the horse’s lower body was hung like a . . well . . . horse’) though categorically denied being dragged along to any Satanic masses with his Dad.

“I went to a boarding school that required me to go to a Church of England chapel every morning, six days a week. It was a far more horrifying experience than a Satanic Mass, it really did give me the creeps,” he shuddered.

“And with regards to the Pope’s sex as drugs topic: why try to be so paternalistic about what people get up to?” he continued.

“The people who listen and take heed are not the people that the church feels need guidance anyway. Whereas the rest; well, there’s no point in preaching to the deaf; they’ll make their minds up regardless. And anyway, provided safe sex is practiced, it’s far safer than drugs anyway, and it keeps you fit. So bang on,” said Louis.

“Being a secular humanist and member of the British Humanist Association I find most of the piffle the Catholic Church comes out with is utter rubbish,” he added.

“After all, this is the organisation that would not condone the use of condoms within a marital relationship where one of the partners has HIV/Aids (among many other ridiculous ideologies). I find it to be an oppressive, sexist, antiquated & bigoted organisation that has no rational place in today’s society.

In fact, Satanism is rubbish as well; as are all religions. As you’ll no doubt have guessed I am an anti-religionist. They are for the weak, the scared and the lost. If only there was a little more humanity and respect in the world we could be done with these ill thought out / alienating theologies,” he concluded.

Religious talk aside, Louis revealed he’s just finished his law degree and is hoping to do a masters degree at Trinity College, Dublin called ‘Reputation Management versus the Freedom of Expression’.

“It’s basically a 60,000 word thesis on the competing interests of privacy, reputation and confidence on one side, versus the much hallowed “Freedom of Expression” on the other; should be juicy. I‘m also doing the New York Bar in February 2009,” said Louis.

He also tours Brazil in July and America in August and September.

 

 

http://m1e.net/c?79654374-asX/lmZyxokjk%403335680-lV6NT8N53IbxY (The cutest kitten?)



http://m1e.net/c?79654374-R7uGEaRzU04ko%403335681-zoy3l2wwL6lbY (Young Americans)



http://m1e.net/c?79654374-7AIiuNT0trj/E%403335682-dlOMOFxoE31tk (crazy techno stuff)



http://m1e.net/c?79654374-xPiGLTKuDMoWY%403335683-UtyQZOgEriDSY (Sheldon Drake downtempo mix)



http://m1e.net/c?79654374-tA.0Pg1AAiYG.%403335684-I0HjAcgdz.zBU  (shooting game- tricky)



http://m1e.net/c?79654374-jwt9dAx1jJZfg%403335685-NgzmtQXtA8z0I  (70s disco pants)



http://m1e.net/c?79654374-8isqlRvz2zr5M%403335686-QdxXwlbD8ynY%2e (Russian hooligan gangs (note the girl with the video camera)



http://m1e.net/c?79654374-gqMB7CVlEtdmk%403335687-Wb.8q3NDDaa1%2e (Russians fighting two on one: note the same girl)



http://m1e.net/c?79654374-VCx6OQD.Bvo0Y%403335688-gjhvWkh4kn/Is (Russian hooligans fight, part 2)



http://m1e.net/c?79654374-BZpuodMhsOefY%403335689-b9bKOocIluZqw (alpha male body language tips: 'Hair flipping, swishing, combing and general preening plus a smile are the number one flirting female body language cues a woman uses to make men get excited . . .')



http://m1e.net/c?79654374-8EKoPZOlI9PMA%403335690-qqO5rn5v6WSQE  (How to Start a Fire without Matches)

http://m1e.net/c?79654374-VWiMqY0pMQvRI%403335678-goz/jAOkwO8eI (‘Humanism is the belief that we can live good lives without religious or superstitious beliefs . . .’)
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