Dear Sona,

Actually I don't agree with you that true love always hurts. Infact you will enjoy it, if it becomes successful. We have lots of examples where people married after having love for certain span of time. So do you mean that all the people who married after having love relationship didn't do true love? However its true that after getting marriage all the romanticism between their relationship will disappear specailly in our society. They will mingled with all household things and they will have less time to act like lovebirds. It's also true that this kind of alteration of relationship may not last longer. There are several cases of unsuccessful love marriage. But my point behind all these lines is that true love always doesn't hurt.

But it may hurt. Whether your love hurts you or not is basically depends upon your expecatations. If you have great expectations from your love and in the mean time it becomes unsuccessful then it will definitely hurts you. Somebody has written somewhere that love full of expectations is not true love. But I don't know how one can do love without expectations? Without expectations and desires how we can continue our life? If you look more closey, you will find there are several factors involved in dynamics of love. Another important factor involved here is expectations of your partner. The attraction between you and your partner will survive until both of you have common set of expectations. But whenever divergence appears between expectations of you two then you will not enjoy the relationship. May be you want to continue the relationship from your side but your partner may feel irritating about the relationship and just want to get rid of it. Sometime you may also want get rid from that kind of relationship which you are not feeling comfortable. I don't know exactly how divergence appears between the expectations but I think it depends more on person rather than the environment. You and your partner may not have the same way of looking, understanding and dealing with all things involved in your life. And once you stuck at a point then problem will start. But we still have solution to all these problems of divergence of expectation and that is compromise. You can compromise until you are frustated with the frequency of the problems and size of the problem. Then there is no way left for you besides breaking your relationship. But how much you will be hurted from break in relationship depends on amount of your expectations and your resistance power against feelings and emotion.

I don't think sex has the major role while talking about true love until your expectation from love is only sex. You can love with or without sex. But one thing is sure that you will get more intimacy after having sex. And if your partner is keeping relationship only to get sex satisfaction and you are thinking other way then again you will be hurted when you will know the truth and this is the divergence of expectations between you and your partner. So my suggestion for you  is always keep very less expectations.

lu abu ek choti hasa ta