================================================ A little boy was taking a shower with his mother. She told him not to look up or down. He looked up any way and asked "mommy what are those?” She replied, "Those are mommy’s headlights". Then he looked down and asked "mommy what is that?” She replied "that is mommy’s garden". Later the boy was taking a shower with his father. He told the boy not to look down, but he looked down any way. The boy asked "daddy what’s that?” His father replied, "That’s daddy’s snake". That night when the boy was in bed he heard noises coming from his parents room. He ran in and yelled "mommy turn on your headlights there’s a snake in your garden!" ================================================= A woman gets out of the bath and puts on a towel. Her husband comes into the bathroom to go to the toilet. The doorbell rings. The woman goes to answer it wearing only the towel. She opens the door to find her next door neighbor Bob standing on the doorstep. Bob wolf whistles and says 'I'll give you $200 if you drop the towel'. The woman doesn't want to miss out on $200, so she drops the towel. Bob takes a good look at the naked woman then says his goodbyes and leaves. As the woman closes the door her husband comes down stairs. 'Who was that?' He asks. 'It was Bob' She says. 'Oh right, did he give you that $200 that he owes me?' ================================================== Two perverts are watching a film in a movie theater. When Julia Roberts appears on the screen, one pervert says to the other, “You know, I’ve had her three times.” A Half hour goes by and Demi Moore is on the screen. “You know, I’ve had her four times,” the first pervert says to the second pervert. Soon, Sharon Stone appears on the screen. The second pervert turns and says to his pal, “I guess you had her too, huh? “Be quiet, I’m having her now.”