rahulvai jee

I think its great to realize. "Wah Wah" alone will not help you to improve. You need them for motivation though. 

I do not follow the classical pattern of ghazal myself - which is extremely difficult and beyond my capability. However, I , at least consider, "Quafia" to be perfect and now concentrating on "matra". Beher is still out of question for me.

Keep writing !!

here is a new one I am working on:

लुट्नु पर्ने बाध्यता, समाधान होस् !

मैले  तिरेको तिरो,  घगडान होस् !

जहिलै तिमी माथी, हुनु नै पर्ने

भलै पानीको तह, असमान होस् !

म कृपाको महीमा  गाई रहुंला -

नगरेका गल्तीमा, क्षमादान होस् !

उपस्थित हुन्जेल आरोप सुनें
बिदाई माग्न जांदा गुनगान होस् !

हिंडेर या हिंडने बेलैमा झरी
नियात्रामा आकाश सुनसान होस् !

alternatively,

कोहि कंहि देखिन्न, बोलायो कल्ले?

एकान्तमा मगज, सुनसान होस् !