You have a religion. THat religion is called "I". You worship yourself. You think that there is nothing and nobody that is greater than you. I can visualize a boy in his late teens or earlier twenties who thinks like that. As you grow older and wiser you will realise that there are forces greater than you. You are egoist too. Your sentence "I was ...but I refuse .." point out to your large ego. Let go of your ego because it won't take anywhere. I must admit that this is a growing trend among the youth of our country. They have been raised in a diet of western and indi TV channels. This doze of anything goes and moralless society that the tvs depict has infused a distrust in us of the religion of our elders. We no longer respect our fathers,mothers or teachers. This is a sign of degradion our country has been facing and the symptoms show up as maobadi,Limbuwan, Khumbuwan etc. I must admit that foreign missionaries have played their part well. They have succeded in instilling their phylosophy into the vulnerable minds of the misguided youth of today whose parents too are responsible for all this.