Sateliteji,

"सायद हुनसक्छ यो घटिया बस्ति होस या बिकासको चरमताले छोयर पछिल्तिर फर्किरहेको सभ्यता होस"

I don't think Amsterdam is a "घटिया बस्ति", it is one of the most liberal places on the earth as I understand. I also heard that it's legal to smoke pot and indulge in prostitution there. Maybe that's why Europeans consider Americans to be "too puritanic".

Maybe the environment you work in is like as you mentioned but the story you just wrote is not targeted towards the people of that environment but rather to the people of a differerent environment, a Nepali environment. So, there are certain cultural sensitivities you might have to consider. Also it seems you yourself arenot totally immersed in that environment that is why you are here writing your story in Nepali so that the whole community can read it. I am sure you would use different words and tone when you are with your friends and in the presence of family members, the same way the words and tone you use at your workplace may not be acceptable to most of the members of Sajha community. We may be living in the west but we still have Nepali cultural roots.

Your writing is pretty good, it doesnot need those certain words to make it better.