Posted by: spreadlove January 25, 2008
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Satellite: Thanks for the spirit uplifting. And yah dont get scared. Choose to be happy and maintain your optimism.
rythm: Thanks for the encouragement. I am back in rythm.
pjna007: Thanks .But flet me tell you this.Those were the darkest times in my life and I would have been lost in this darkness forever if I had not decided to shine!!!
angeleyes: Thanks. Seriously, I thought the doors were closed but suddenly after long I see a small window had been let open.
Anyways, let me put into light some more of my inner feelings:
I know love never promises instant gratification, only ultimate fulfillment. However, I SEE THE LIGHT.
But what if the fulfillment takes for ever and before it takes place you are kissed goodbye. It is identity shattering. You feel alone, unloved, unwanted and betrayed. Then this question starts coming to your head. CAN YOU LOVE EVER AGAIN?
Believe me, how you answer the question depends upon your perception of what love is. It is ones' personal choice to say, "Yes, I can love" and truly mean it, or "I cannot." Unless you have been emotionally damaged earlier.
When I was kissed goodbye by my love I was totally hurt. It took well over a more than normal gap for me to put myself back all together again. During all those period I had lost respect for womankind. I had reduced women into objects and thought superficially about them, paid no heed to their importance. I thought that 'THE ONLY TALENT A WOMAN HAS IS HER BEAUTY AND NOTHING ELSE'. She, with that self-claimed power could inflict enormous pain in a man's life. But, guess what? I wasn't happy and satisfied being single too.
The last few months were weird. An all time topper in the work, fell to level of a below average professional. An "Always Bindaas" guy, turned into an "Always Serious" one. A happy and shining soul, became absolutely dead. I hate these months because I cannot justify what I did all this time. Frankly, I did not do anything... these month are a void in my life. Neither did I excel in my profession, nor did I have my share of fun. Then what did I do??? Frankly, wasted 8 months(no, last month was fine)... okay 8 months of my life completely without doing anything, living in a dream world because the reality was not what I wanted. I stuck to the goods of my past and never cared unwrap my present. Towards the end of it I was totally frustrated and one fine day I decided to have everything back... everything that I had lost in this journey. Life changed drastically..I changed.
Beyond my imagination after so much of healing time I want to love again. Beyond doubt, I think I am able to love. I just think for a moment of the loving feelings that I had for a very special person in my life. How happy I was at that time, knowing that my love was bringing happinesses to another person. I was in love with life itself-every part of it, good and bad, painful and pleasant. I told myself to nurture such attitude. If I was able to love then, it is likely that I am capable of loving again now. I have nothing to loose but plenty to gain.
-sp
I wanna give myself a new chance now..
rythm: Thanks for the encouragement. I am back in rythm.
pjna007: Thanks .But flet me tell you this.Those were the darkest times in my life and I would have been lost in this darkness forever if I had not decided to shine!!!
angeleyes: Thanks. Seriously, I thought the doors were closed but suddenly after long I see a small window had been let open.
Anyways, let me put into light some more of my inner feelings:
I know love never promises instant gratification, only ultimate fulfillment. However, I SEE THE LIGHT.
But what if the fulfillment takes for ever and before it takes place you are kissed goodbye. It is identity shattering. You feel alone, unloved, unwanted and betrayed. Then this question starts coming to your head. CAN YOU LOVE EVER AGAIN?
Believe me, how you answer the question depends upon your perception of what love is. It is ones' personal choice to say, "Yes, I can love" and truly mean it, or "I cannot." Unless you have been emotionally damaged earlier.
When I was kissed goodbye by my love I was totally hurt. It took well over a more than normal gap for me to put myself back all together again. During all those period I had lost respect for womankind. I had reduced women into objects and thought superficially about them, paid no heed to their importance. I thought that 'THE ONLY TALENT A WOMAN HAS IS HER BEAUTY AND NOTHING ELSE'. She, with that self-claimed power could inflict enormous pain in a man's life. But, guess what? I wasn't happy and satisfied being single too.
The last few months were weird. An all time topper in the work, fell to level of a below average professional. An "Always Bindaas" guy, turned into an "Always Serious" one. A happy and shining soul, became absolutely dead. I hate these months because I cannot justify what I did all this time. Frankly, I did not do anything... these month are a void in my life. Neither did I excel in my profession, nor did I have my share of fun. Then what did I do??? Frankly, wasted 8 months(no, last month was fine)... okay 8 months of my life completely without doing anything, living in a dream world because the reality was not what I wanted. I stuck to the goods of my past and never cared unwrap my present. Towards the end of it I was totally frustrated and one fine day I decided to have everything back... everything that I had lost in this journey. Life changed drastically..I changed.
Beyond my imagination after so much of healing time I want to love again. Beyond doubt, I think I am able to love. I just think for a moment of the loving feelings that I had for a very special person in my life. How happy I was at that time, knowing that my love was bringing happinesses to another person. I was in love with life itself-every part of it, good and bad, painful and pleasant. I told myself to nurture such attitude. If I was able to love then, it is likely that I am capable of loving again now. I have nothing to loose but plenty to gain.
-sp
I wanna give myself a new chance now..