Bicycle Lover Busted Scottish cycling enthusiast Robert Stewart was placed on the Sex Offenders Register this week after he was caught making love to his bicycle by cleaners at the Aberley House Hostel, Ayr. Mr Stewart pleaded guilty to committing a 'sexual breach of the peace', the Telegraph reported, after he failed to hear the maids knocking at his hotel room door as he pleasured his bike. "They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white T-shirt, naked from the waist down," prosecutor Gail Davidson told the Court, "The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex." The latest inanimate object sex case came three years after fellow Scottish registered sex offender (and self declared performance artist) Ross Watt was placed on probation after being caught having sex with a traffic cone in front of 20 Edinburgh teenagers. British sex criminal Karl Watkins was less fortunate in 1993 when he was jailed for 18 months after being spotted by children making love to an underpass. In more bicycle news, anti-surveillance guru Nick Rosen, editor of the Off-Grid website, advised cycling in a 'Ten ways to thwart Big Brother' article published in the Observer this week, as a valuable means of avoiding car number plate surveillance cameras proliferating throughout the UK. "The simplest way is to leave the car at home and use a bicycle," Mr Rosen recommended. "But if you must drive, don't go into a congestion zone at any time." "There are other legal ways to hide your registration number from the cameras," he added, "Swap the light above the rear number-plate for an infrared bulb and that will flood the video-camera which operates at near infrared frequency."

 

 

 

 

Is it ever Realistic to try and Speed Up a Procrastinator? There are no fixed rules with this, it's entirely dependent on the individual and circumstances. There's an art to catching the gold dust with creative people but it's also down to destiny. If a project is destined to see the light of day, eventually all procrastination will be overcome with patience, faith and persistence, sometimes, persuading, sometimes cajoling, sometimes stepping away, sometimes berating, sometimes forgiving, sometimes going out and getting drunk together. If, on the other hand, a project is not destined to reach fruition, that procrastination will not be overcome and at some point you'll lose the impetus and will to continue the association - you'll know that intuitively. Sometimes people procrastinate because the creative process needs more time. Sometimes it's because the forces of destiny know that the world needs more time before it's ready for your offering. Sometimes it's because certain things need to happen in the world to shape the way you shape the project. Sometimes, it's simply because that person isn't yet developed enough to combine the creative with the practical, or doesn't really want to do the project any more but has trouble letting you down and hasn't the communication skills to let you know in a mature, responsible way. However, even if the individual does turn out to be a time-waster, you, yourself haven't been wasting your time. It's all developmental, all creatively educational and all accumulates as knowledge to add to your talents for the projects that do subsequently bear fruit."